Ergo, the Ogre

Author: Ergo, the Ogre

  • 3TC #MM54 | 4 Bullets

    3TC #MM54 | 4 Bullets

    Welcome to the daily Three Things Challenge.
    Use your imagination and creativity using one, two or all three words that may or may not be related. There are no restrictions regarding length, style, or genre, though please keep it family friendly.

    Tag your responses with 3TC, #threethingschallenge or TTC, and you can add my logo if you wish.

    pink rose

    Looking forward to reading your responses.

    Your final three words for this week are:
    MURDER
    KILLING
    ACCIDENT

    Jim-Ed poured his first cup of coffee and looked out the window. Just as he moved the yellow checkered curtain, a murder of crows landed in his corn field.

    “Gosh dang those darn birds!” If I had my gun, I’d — Oh hell! Their eatin’ my damn corn down to the cob. Them dirty black bastards!”

    “What are you on about now, Jim-Ed?” His wife, Donna-Jean came down the stairs, still tying her pink bathrobe.

    “Lookit them dadgum birds, Donna Jean! They’re killin’ us!”

    “Oh, fer Cripe sakes.” Donna Jean walked out the door and began shoo-ing them away.” They ascended the cornfield as soon as they saw her.

    “Next problem?” Donna Jean asked as she came back inside. “Jim-Ed. them crows don’t eat enough to make a difference. This farm’s goin’ to hell in a handbasket anyhow.” Donna Jean poured herself some coffee.

    “Aw, don’t say that. I know we can make it!”

    She rolled her eyes.

    “It sure would help me some if you’d gimme back my shotgun.” Jim Ed whined. “Honey, will ya?”

    “I reckon.” Donna Jean started up the stairs. “But you’re only gettin’ five bullets a day.”

    That’s plenty. He grinned to himself. Yep, that’s plenty.

    Jim-Ed parked himself on the front porch and watched his corn grow. Now that he had his gun, there wasn’t a crow in sight.” Dadgum figures.

    Soon, he became bored and started playing with his gun. He wondered how long he could hold the gun steady if he propped it up with the butt on the floor and the barrel beneath his chin.

    He counted off, 1, 2, 3,4 … Then the gun started to slip so he grabbed it before it fell, not paying attention to where he was grabbing.

    He’d grabbed the trigger.

    When Donna Jean came home from the market, she looked around at all the blood, chunks, and brain tissue. Then she saw her husband’s limp, headless body. Shaking her head, she mumbled, “Musta been some kind o’ accident.”

  • Nine of Swords | Ali Baba-Lu

    Nine of Swords | Ali Baba-Lu

    Donald thinks he was ripped off at the annual Greek Renaissance Festival and Bazaar.

    He was walking around, perusing all the little shops for something special. Donald didn’t know exactly what he was looking for but when he saw it, he’d know. Eventually he came to the end of the marketplace. But hidden in the back behind the dumpsters was one last shop. There was no signage indicating the name, which Donald found odd.

    Once inside he saw who he assumed must be the owner: a portly man dressed in orange, sitting cross-legged on a stack of large, square pillows. He wore a big, friendly smile on his chubby face. “Welcome to my humble ‘Little Shop with No Name.’” The man greeted him. “My name is Ali Baba-Lu. How I can help you today?”

    The smell of incense was thick and almost nauseating. Donald coughed and wished for an open window.

    “Pleased to meet you, Ali Baba-Lu. I am looking for something out of the ordinary, something I could find nowhere else.” Donald explained. “You got anything like that?”

    Ali Baba-Lu appeared to be deep in thought for a moment, winding and unwinding his short stubby fingers around his straggly goatee.

    “Indeed, I do!” He reached into a drawer between the counter and pulled out a packet of ordinary-looking stones. “What do you think of this‽”

    Donald shrugged. “Looks like a bunch of stones. What do they do?”

    “These are magic stones,” Ali Baba-Lu said quietly. “You plant them like seeds and pretty soon, something wonderful will grow!”

    “What?” Donald was skeptical.

    “Yes, sir! I shit you not!” Ali Baba-Lu’s voice was a couple octaves higher. “Money-back guarantee, if you don’t believe.”

    “Okay, how much?”

    “Only 10,000 Drachma*! I give you special price.”

    Donald considered the exorbitant price. “Okay. I’ll take them.”

    Donald paid Ali Baba-Lu, took his stones and left for home.

    He rushed to the backyard and eagerly planted a few of the stones. He watered them and waited, and waited, and waited. Nothing happened. Not even a sprout!

    He took the rest of the stones and headed back to the Bazaar. Wouldn’t you just know that the whole Festival had picked up and left. Nothing left but a few empty gyros wrappers. No sign of Ali Baba-Lu. Of course.

    Donald felt like an idiot. He was glad no one was around to witness his foolishness.

    Donald slowly walked home, tossing the stones behind him as he went. If he’d only turned around to see what was growing, he wouldn’t have believed his eyes.

    People, real people, were popping up right and left, fully grown to adulthood!

    He must’ve planted the stones too deep in his yard. Or maybe it was a privacy issue. They only sprout when no one’s looking.

    *$33.23

  • 3TC #MM53 | Embers

    3TC #MM53 | Embers

    Welcome to the daily Three Things Challenge.
    Use your imagination and creativity using one, two or all three words that may or may not be related. There are no restrictions regarding length, style, or genre, though please keep it family friendly.

    Tag your responses with 3TC, #threethingschallenge or TTC, and you can add Di’s logo if you wish.

    pink rose

    Looking forward to reading your responses.

    Your three words today are:
    CANDLESTICK
    HEAVY
    WEAPON

    Lydia’s eyelids grew heavy and the words on the page were blurred. She’d taken an extra Xanax that evening in hopes it would help her get some sleep. It looked like that was about to happen. She closed her book and tried to set it on the nightstand, but she missed. It fell on the floor.

    Oh well. I’ll get it to… Before she finished that thought she was asleep.

    There was a triple candlestick holder on her nightstand on the other side of the bed that her father brought back from Morocco a few years ago. She lit it every night; it made an unusual but comforting glow in her room. Her dad had joked that if she didn’t like it, at least she could use it as a weapon.

    She’d forgotten to blow the candles out.

    Sometime during the night her cat must’ve bumped the nightstand, knocking the candlestick over. The candles hadn’t gone out yet and the rug started smoldering.

    The cat screeched, hopped on the bed and ran out the bedroom door. Luckily, all this activity woke Lydia up. She smelled the smoke and flipped on the light. Her bedroom was filling with smoke. She snatched her bedspread off the bed and covered the small flames. She stomped on the bedspread until she was sure that every last ember was completely out.

    Her bedspread was ruined but she was alive. Holy crap, that was close.

    As long as she was up, she went to the bathroom. While she was there, she filled a large tumbler of water, came back, and poured it where the fire had been. Just to make sure. Then Lydia grabbed her pillow and a blanket and went downstairs to sleep on the sofa. Her heart still beating wildly.

    Where fire is concerned, one cannot be too careful.

    There was one ember still aglow.

  • 3TC #MM52 |The Hitchhiker

    3TC #MM52 |The Hitchhiker

    Welcome to the daily Three Things Challenge.
    Use your imagination and creativity using one, two or all three words that may or may not be related. There are no restrictions regarding length, style, or genre, though please keep it family friendly.

    Tag your responses with 3TC, #threethingschallenge or TTC, and you can add Di’s logo if you wish.

    pink rose

    Looking forward to reading your responses.

    Your three words today are:
    WEDDING
    CELEBRATION
    REFORM

    It was a beautiful spring day, clear skies, birds singing and tulips blooming. The sweet smell of magnolias floated on the warm breeze. It was the perfect day for a wedding that never should’ve happened.

    The bride, Kami, was only 15 years old while the groom, Billy Bollocks, was 45. He had two children older than Kami. and three younger — ages three, six and ten. Their mother had committed suicide five months prior, and Billy needed someone to do the housework, cooking, and perform other wifely duties. He was very excited about the impending nuptials and couldn’t wait until the honeymoon when he could finally get his hands on her.

    Kami, in contrast, was scared and disgusted. She’d known Billy her whole life as they were second cousins. She hated him. He was fat, stinky, and stupid, couldn’t even read. Plus, he had bad breath and hardly any teeth. The thought of living in the same house with him and dirty brats made her want to throw up. She wouldn’t let herself even imagine the honeymoon. But, unfortunately for Kami, she was the only girl of age in their sick little community. Connie, who was 14-and-a-half and Kami’s best friend, would’ve been next in line.

    As the nuptials loomed closer and closer, the more Kami wanted to run away, but she didn’t dare. The last girl who tried that is still locked in the “Correction Cabin.” She’d been in there six months so far, for bringing shame to her family. No telling when or even if, she’d get out.

    No wonder Shawna killed herself. I get it.

    Kami detached herself from the wedding ceremony. It was as if she were watching it unfold from afar. As such, it was uneventful and went as planned. When the preacher announced that Billy Bollocks may kiss the bride, Kami quickly turned her head so his lips would land on her cheek. With tears in her eyes, she wiped the string of saliva off with her sleeve.

    How am I gonna get out of this? I cannot do this to myself! God, please do something. Holy crap!

    The celebration afterward was awkward with the bride unable to stop crying and the groom staring at her lecherously.

    Finally, it was time to cut the cake.

    I gotta think fast. This shit show is almost over.

    As she walked slowly toward the cake table, Connie brushed passed her and whispered, “Take this.” slipping a small switchblade into Kami’s hand. “Good luck.”

    Thank you, God! I knew You’d come through!

    Kami held a piece of wedding cake in her right hand, and the blade in her left. Her heart was pounding like a jackhammer.

    I can’t screw this up I can’t screw this up God help me I can’t …

    As Billy Bollocks’ piece of cake came nearer and nearer to her face, Kami’s piece came closer to his. He closed his eyes and open his mouth and waited for Kami to put it up to his mouth.

    She shoved the cake into his face and slit his throat deep at the same time. It was then that Kami learned that she had excellent eye-hand coordination.

    Billy Bollocks fell to the floor, blood gurgling from the wound and his mouth.

    The entire room was frozen in shock, giving Kami ample time to escape. She made it to the main highway in record time and stuck out her thumb. The first car stopped for her — who wouldn’t stop for a young girl hitchhiking with blood on her wedding dress?

  • Do-Tell Motel

    Do-Tell Motel

    It’s time for One-Liner Wednesday! Linda G Hill is our host.

    If these walls could talk, they’d be speechless.