Author: Ergo, the Ogre
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49 1/2
It was fifty years ago today that Candyce and Larry were married.
Larry would describe the past half century as lacking. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he’d felt as though he’d missed out on something huge in marrying Candice.
Even their twin girls, Constance and Prudence, were unremarkable.
In contrast, Candyce looked on the past five decades with contentment. Maybe it wasn’t a thrill a minute, but the marriage was okay. It was better than the situations her friends endured.
To Larry, fifty seemed like one hundred.
Candyce’s fifty, on the other hand, seemed like a mere forty-nine and a half.
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Ritual
Few people in town even remembered his real name. They knew him simply as “Loco.”
Henry remembered, though.
He remembered the frenzied beatings, the angry Pall Mall cigarette burns and living in relentless fear that his father — the esteemed Dr. Farquhar — would come at him again.
And again.
And again.
Henry finally snapped at the age of eleven. That was sixty years ago.
Since then and to this day, Henry visits his father’s grave daily,
drops his pants and takes a good, long whizz.
Then, he smokes a Pall Mall and snuffs the butt on the headstone.
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Hindsight
Rocco had never felt more alone in his life. Surrounded by silence, there were no sounds aside from the ones he made himself.
He’d only made them to ensure he wasn’t deaf.
Rocco wondered about the altitude. Would he die of a heart attack on the way down?
Perhaps he’d impale himself on the jagged peaks below, or splat on a hillside like a bug on a windshield.
“Or maybe I’ll get lost & starve to death…”
The sound of his own voice startled him. Rocco glanced around to see if anyone heard, but of course they hadn’t. There was no one. Not anymore.
Not only was he lonely, but he was bored.
Rocco was beginning to regret pushing Joey.
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Ergo, the Ogre 