Ergo, the Ogre

Author: Ergo, the Ogre

  • 3TC #MM34 | YIPPEE SKIPPY

    3TC #MM34 | YIPPEE SKIPPY

    Welcome to the daily Three Things Challenge.
    Use your imagination and creativity using one, two or all three words that may or may not be related. There are no restrictions regarding length, style, or genre, though please keep it family friendly.

    Tag your responses with 3TC, #threethingschallenge or TTC, and you can add Di’s logo if you wish.

    pink rose

    Looking forward to reading your responses.

    Your three words today are:
    SNORE
    SNORT
    CHOKE

    Fred had an unusual problem. The minute he fell asleep, he’d start snoring within minutes. Not just ordinary snoring, but the kind that makes the roof shake. the only way he could stop is if his wife Camille, elbowed him in the ribs. Then, he would wake up with a snort — not like a pig snorts, more like a blue whale at 188 decibels.

    This would go on several time a night. Fred managed to get enough sleep, but Camille was averaging two or three hours. She was on the verge of losing her job at the sawmill.

    One evening they were watching TV in bed. Fred of course fell asleep. but Camille stayed awake watching Jimmy Kimmel and snacking on marinated artichoke hearts.

    Soon, Fred started snoring and Camille finally lost it. His mouth was wide open, and she couldn’t resist shoving an artichoke in his mouth. Fred quit snoring the minute the artichoke hit his tongue. Without waking up he chewed and swallowed the artichoke. Camille couldn’t believe this was all she had to do to make him stop snoring.

    All the sleep I missed over the years and will never get back!

    As soon as Camille fell asleep, Fred began snoring again. Luckily, the artichoke hearts were in the room, so she just shoved a few in his mouth. He stopped immediately, but sure enough started snoring again as soon as Camille fell asleep.

    This ain’t gonna work! She punched her pillow a few times. I gotta get some sleep!

    Suddenly, Camille had the solution. If artichoke hearts worked for a little while… She threw off the covers and headed for the kitchen.

    I know we have some. She searched every shelf in the pantry. And there it was, waaaay in the back.

    Peanut butter: my new best friend.

    She ran back upstairs and waited for Fred’s mouth to open. She didn’t have long to wait. His mouth opened and Camille scooped out a heaping tablespoon of peanut butter and plopped it into Fred’s cavernous mouth. Immediately, his mouth closed and started trying to chew the peanut butter.

    Silence.

    Camille quickly fell asleep, forgetting completely that Fred was allergic to peanuts.

  • The Knave of Wands | Tony in BFE

    The Knave of Wands | Tony in BFE

    Tony was not pleased with his lot in life. In fact, it was the opposite of everything he dreamed of growing up. He was a precocious child, a gregarious teenager and captain of his high school chariot-racing team. Tony was also a total chick magnet. Girls liked him and he liked them even more.

    A lot of good it does me now, stuck out here in BFE. If only I hadn’t sneaked out with the principal’s daughter. I swear to the gods I didn’t know Lindsey was only 15 — heck, she was built like she was 16. Plus, she asked me out!

    When Lindsey’s father caught her with Tony, they were at the drive-in watching Never on Sunday. It was the good version with Melina Mercouri. Lindsey was sipping a Coke with her head on Tony’s shoulder, and he had his arm around her.

    Thank the gods we weren’t in the back seat! Not that I would ever… Just sayin’.

    Suddenly, Lindsey’s father tap-tap-tapped on the passenger side window. She screamed and he yanked the door open and grabbed his daughter. Once she was out of the car he began yelling at Tony.

    It was decided between both sets of parents that Lindsey would go to Kythera, an Ionian Island, to live with her Aunt Penelope until she turns 18. And Tony would be banished to an area so remote it didn’t even have a name and live out his life as sheepherder.

    I have no one to talk to but sheep. Not that I don’t love animals, but sheep aren’t known for their communication skills. The babies are cute though. Really cute. Lambs, they call ’em.

    And such is Tony’s life. He sits on a rock all day surrounded by his sheep and thinks about the life he could’ve had. He prays that the gods will see fit to send a human for him to talk to. Specifically, a woman.

    The Knave of Wands

  • Fibbin’ Friday | 04/18/25

    Fibbin’ Friday | 04/18/25

    Welcome to Fibbing Friday! Fib your socks off when answering the ten questions set below but remember, truth is not an option, whereas having fun is.





      1. Synergy
      When you run out of energy and can't find a charging station

      2. Synonym
      Another word for cinnamon

      3. Synchronicity
      A city that has been synced.

      4. Syncopate
      Pâté made with too much filler.

      5. Synopsis
      When a Cyclops grows a second eye.

      6. Synaesthesia
      A knock-off brand of Anesthesia
       
      7. Synaptosome
      A nap to some is sleep to others

      8. Synanthropes
      A fancy word for cockroaches

      9. Synagogal
      Synonyms from outer space

      10 Synaptid
      One who chooses to dis-evolve

    • Samantha’s Powers

      Samantha’s Powers

      Welcome to the daily Three Things Challenge.
      Use your imagination and creativity using one, two or all three words that may or may not be related. There are no restrictions regarding length, style, or genre, though please keep it family friendly.

      Tag your responses with 3TC, #threethingschallenge or TTC, and you can add Di’s logo if you wish.

      pink rose

      Looking forward to reading your responses.

      Your final three words for this week are:
      OCCUR
      OCCULT
      TUMULT

      Claudia was obsessed with the television show, Bewitched. Imagine what I could do to those mean girls at school if I had Samantha’s powers! That blonde bitch Sherri — I’d tangle her up in the swing set. And Teri! I’d launch her off the teeter-totter. Then there’s Paula, the worst of all. Her hair would fall out chunk by chunk, and she’d gain five lbs. a day until she weighed 2oo+. Well, maybe not that big… but big.

      Claudia fell asleep with a smile on her face, imagining what she would do to the mean girls. Plus, tomorrow was Saturday.

      When she woke up, Claudia quickly ate breakfast, got dressed & ready to go. She headed out to the Metaphysical Bookstore that also sold occult supplies. If anyone knew how she could obtain Samantha’s powers, they would.

      “Oh, Honey, that’s just a TV show. It’s not real!” the salesperson explained.

      “But the occult is real, isn’t it?” Claudia read her name tag. “Grace?”

      “Well, yes, but –“

      “Then I should be able to learn, too.” Claudia deduced. “So, what books do you recommend I read to get started?”

      “Uh, well. ” She’d never sold anything to such a young person. This girl was maybe nine years old! “Here’s a good one: The Beginner’s Guide to the Metaphysical. It will give you the background to begin your studies.”

      “Okay,” Claudia said. “How about a book of spells?”

      “Why don’t you read that book first, and then we can talk about spells.” Grace suggested.

      “You don’t understand,” Claudia said. “I need this now. It’s important.”

      “Well… I don’t know.” Grace studied her. “You are awfully young.”

      “Please ma’am,” Claudia pleaded. “I may be young, but I’m desperate. It really is important.”

      Something about the way Claudia spoke, and her facial expression convinced Grace to sell her a spell book. She knew a witch when she saw one. “Okay, follow me. I know just the book.”

      “Practical Magic for Beginners, ” Claudia read the book cover. “I’ll take it.”

      “That will be $22.50,” Grace said.

      Claudia dug her birthday money out of her jacket pocket and put the pile on the counter. She and Grace sorted it out. Claudia was pleased that she got some change back. She could hit McDonald’s on the way home.

      That weekend, Claudia stayed in her room poring over her new books. Those nasty girls will never know what hit ’em.

      Monday morning came and Claudia was ready. For the first time, she felt confident and unafraid. She even smiled as she walked to school. The first one she saw was Paula. the meanest of the mean.

      “Hey Paula!” Claudia called out.

      Paula turned around, started to say something but no words came out. As soon as she and Claudia made eye contact, Claudia raised her right hand and pointed two fingers at Paula, eye level. She mumbled something; Paula could see her lips moving. She was frozen for about 30 seconds, then Claudia’s lips stopped moving. She lowered hand and walked away. Paula could move again but didn’t. She just stared after Claudia.

      In home room, the teacher was talking about current events when suddenly Paula screamed. The class was startled — all except Claudia — and turned to look in Paula’s direction. A couple of girls screamed when they saw a pile of black hair on Paula’s desk. She was half bald. The teacher walked her to the school nurse’s office.

      Claudia was so pleased with herself she thought she might burst. The theme song from Bewitched ran through her mind for the rest of the day.

      Today, Paula. Tomorrow, Teri.

    • IX The Hermit | An Asshole

      IX The Hermit | An Asshole

      Herman was a difficult child and now he is a lonely, angry adult.

      He never learned how to play nicely with others. To Herman, winning and demolishing other kids’ toys was the ultimate only goal. Even playing with clay trucks in the sand turned ugly when Herman would smash his playmates’ trucks with a rock, or sometimes his bare hands.

      Today he would probably be diagnosed with ADHD or maybe even Autism, but at that time, no one had ever heard of such disorders. They just wrote him off as a general asshole.

      It follows then that Herman had no friends. He didn’t care though because he hated everyone.

      He was a nice-looking guy, though, and could’ve been quite popular with the girls in high school. Unfortunately, he acted like a jerk: throwing stones at girls, slipping spiders, creepy bugs and small snakes down the backs of their blouses, and making loud and sometimes stinky body noises. The boys didn’t fare much better. Herman would beat them to a pulp if they tried to interfere. Even the instructors were afraid of him.

      Somehow, Herman graduated from high school. Word on the street was that the teachers passed him because they were afraid not to.

      One day, his parents and brother staged an intervention of sorts. It was more like a banishment. Herman simply wasn’t fit to live in polite society. He happened to like the water, so he was sent to live out his days at the bottom of the Aegean Sea. To make a lifetime of punishment a bit more palatable, his father changed his name to Poseidon and told him he was King of the Sea.

      Herman was thrilled! He imagined all the mermaids and mermen bowing down to him. All sea life would have the utmost respect for him. But this was not to be. Nobody was the least bit intimidated by him. Most didn’t even notice him as they all had busy lives, places to be.

      Herman felt like a fish out of water.

      And so, he pouted.

      The Hermit