Ergo, the Ogre

Author: Ergo, the Ogre

  • 3TC MM11 | Cacophony

    3TC MM11 | Cacophony

    Welcome to the daily Three Things Challenge.
    Use your imagination and creativity using one, two or all three words that may or may not be related. There are no restrictions regarding length, style, or genre, though please keep it family friendly.

    Tag your responses with 3TC, #threethingschallenge or TTC, and you can add Di’s logo if you wish.

    Our three words today are:
    PRONOUNCE
    SLANG
    FORTITUDE

    “Class, may I have your attention, please?” Ms. Applebaum clapped her hands at her group of 8th-graders.

    The students glanced at her and turned around in their seats.

    “Thank you.” Ms. Applebaum cleared her throat. “It has come to my attention that we are having trouble pronouncing certain words.”

    Johnny raised his hand.

    “Yes, Johnny?”

    He stood up and said, “That’s cuz some of ’em got too many syllables! I say we gotta shorten ’em up!” He sat back down looking pleased with himself.

    The teacher sighed. “Oh, dear. There is so much wrong with those two sentences.”

    Johnny neglected to raise his hand and stood up defiantly. “Like what?” His voice cracked.

    “Well, to begin with, we’ve got to stop using slang.” Ms. Applebaum explained. “It’s because, not just cuz. And for “them” — pronounce the entire word not just the last two letters, and instead of “gotta” we should say, have to or must.”

    The class groaned.

    With that, Ms. Applebaum turned to the blackboard and began writing a list of words:

    • Asterisk
    • Anemone
    • Quinoa
    • Cacophony

    “Now, who can pronounce the first word and use it in a sentence?”

    Johnny’s hand shot up like a flare. “I can!”

    He stood up and said: “The axterix is above the number eight on the keyboard.” He proudly sat down again.

    Next, Brittany raised her hand.

    “Yes, Brittany?”

    She stood up. “The asterisk is a star-shaped character used in printing or writing for various purposes.” Brittany gave Johnny a smug glance as she sat down.

    “Very good, Brittany!”

    Johnny had a come-apart. “Hey, wait a minute! That’s what I just said!”

    “It’s asterisk, Johnny. Not axterix. There are no exes in asterisk.” Ms. Applebaum explained.

    Johnny fidgeted. “Well, I was close,” he mumbled.

    “How about the next word? Who’d like to try?”

    No one made a sound, let alone raise a hand.

    “Okay, I will call on…Timothy.”

    Timothy stood up and announced, “The ayne-moan lives in the ocean!”

    “That may be true, Timothy, but the creature is called an uh-nem-uh-nee.”

    “Yes, ma’am.” Timothy acquiesced. “But why can’t we just call it a clownfish? Same thing.”

    Giggles all around the room.

    “Because we are here to learn pronunciation. We’ll save synonyms for another day.”

    Ms. Applebaum continued, “Let’s do one more.” They were wearing down her fortitude. “Who wants to try?”

    Monica slowly raised her hand. “May I try?

    “Yes, Monica. Please do.”

    “Kwin-o-ah is supposed to be good for you?” She said hesitantly.

    “It’s pronounced Keen-wah, Monica. But it is very good for you.”

    “Thank you, Ms. Applebaum.” Monica took her seat.

    “All I know is that I’m not eating anything I can’t pronounce.” Johnny declared. “Just like I won’t do algebra. Multiplying letters is insane and dangerous! Who knows what can happen? Letters are for spelling words and numbers are for cyphering.”

    Johnny’s announcement was too much for the class. They broke out in uncontrollable laughter and Ms. Applebaum was about to snap.

    “Class!!” she yelled. “Stop the cacophony immediately! I have had enough!”

    Timothy stood again. “Ms. Applebaum? Why not just say noise?”

  • Simon and the Balcony

    Simon and the Balcony

    It’s time for Fandango’s weekly Story Starter prompt. Here’s how it works. Every Tuesday morning (his time), He is going to give you a “teaser” sentence or sentence fragment and your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to build a story (prose or poetry) around that sentence/fragment. It doesn’t have to be the first sentence in your story, and you don’t even have to use it in your post at all if you don’t want to. The purpose of the teaser is simply to spark your imagination and to get your storytelling juices flowing.

    This week’s Story Starter teaser is:

    He quickly climbed the trellis and reached the balcony outside of her bedroom.

    If you care to write and post a story built from this teaser, be sure to link back to this post and tag your post with #FSS.

    He quickly climbed the trellis and reached the balcony outside of her bedroom.

    Although this sneaking around was kind of fun, he wished he could just ring the doorbell like a normal person, but Margo’s father allowed for no unchaperoned contact with the opposite sex. Simon understood where her dad was coming from. Margo was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. He went to tap on the window, but Simon tripped on a perpetually untied shoelace. He tried to catch himself, but he slammed face-first onto the edge of the balcony anyway.

    Dang! Knew I should’ve worn loafers!

    His nose hurt like hell and there was blood gushing from his nose and dripping from his hands as he tried to stop the bleed.

    Suddenly, a light flashed on in Margo’s bedroom. He saw a hand shove the sheers and curtain out of the way, and Margo impatiently flung the window open.

    “H-h-hi, Margo.” Simon said timidly. He could feel his face flushing, and he hoped Margo couldn’t tell.

    “Simon?” she whispered. “What are you doing here? And what happened to your face?”

    “Whaddaya mean?” Simon inquired. “You told me to come by tonight. Oh, and I tripped.”

    “Umm. That’s tomorrow night …?”

    “Oh, wow. Isn’t this Thursday?

    Margo rolled her eyes and started to say something. Simon didn’t hear her because he was distracted by the looming silhouette standing to the right of Margo.

    Oh no, it’s her dad!

    The figure stepped out of the shadows and stood next to Margo. “What do you want, Simple Simon?”

    Simon’s heart hit the dirt. This was even worse than her dad, it was Gregory Safire: star quarterback of their high school football team, homecoming king, and all-around heart throb of the 11th grade. He looked like a Greek god come to Earth and acted like a dick.

    Simon sighed and looked down at his feet, mortified. All this drama just to help a hot girl with her algebra homework. The only thing that could save this moment of extreme embarrassment was if the balcony collapsed and took him with it.

    And so, it did.

    Right before Simon and the balcony crumbled to the ground, he was awakened by the sharp, obnoxious ringing of his alarm clock.

  • 3TC MM10| Alexander’s Turn

    3TC MM10| Alexander’s Turn

    It’s time for our daily Three Things Challenge. Our host, Di of pensitivity101 fame, has chosen these three words for us today:

    • Hexagon
    • Vex
    • Text

    Tag your responses with 3TC, #threethingschallenge or TTC, and you can add Di’s logo if you wish.

    Alexander lay in bed trying to get his courage up. As much as he loved spending the night at Cecelia’s, he dreaded the mornings. It wasn’t the mornings, exactly, that vexed him — if you want to know the truth. It was having to take a shower in her bathroom that struck horror in his psyche.

    Why did she have to have those menacing hexagons on her bathroom tile?

    Each time he entered the shower he was instantly repulsed. The design made him want to vomit, cry, and scream all at once. He’d been through therapy and knew exactly what the problem was and what it was called. Aside from exposure therapy, he also knew there was nothing he could do about his trypophobia, meaning the fear of clusters of geometric shapes.

    Several times Alexander considered telling Cecelia about his odd disorder but was afraid she’d think he was a freak.

    What if she didn’t want to see him anymore?

    He really liked her. A lot. So, coming clean (pun intended) wasn’t an option.

    His cell phone went off, alerting him that he had a text. He knew who it was and what the message was about: Cecelia was out of the shower and now it was Alexander’s turn.

    “Damn.”

  • Three Things Challenge | MM9

    Three Things Challenge | MM9

    It’s time for the daily Three Things Challenge . Di of Pensitivity101 fame is our host.

    Use your imagination and creativity using one, two or all three words that may or may not be related. There are no restrictions regarding length, style, or genre, though please keep it family friendly.

    Our words today are Chaos, Calamity, and Chagrin.

    Tag your responses with 3TC, #threethingschallenge or TTC, and you can add Di’s logo if you wish.

    It’s not common knowledge, but Calamity Jane had a daughter. No one knows who baby-daddy was, perhaps not even Jane — but that’s beside the point. Jane named her daughter Chloe and by the time she started grade school, Chloe had earned the moniker, Chaotic Chloe. She was a wild child but came by it honestly. Chloe was clone of her mom — on steroids.

    In the third grade Chloe hogtied the class bully with her jump rope on the playground. When the principal, Mr. Skinnard tried to break it up, she hogtied him, too. Of course, the poor man was livid once he was untied but couldn’t think of an apt punishment for Chloe, much to his chagrin. He’d never admit it, but Mr. Skinnard was a little afraid of her.

    And so it went through middle school and high school. However, at the senior prom, Chloe met her match in Wicked Willy Hickock, who of course was Wild Bill’s son. They’d seen each other around school but had no classes together. Well! When their eyes met it was all over. They fell for each other hard. By the end of the prom, Willy and Chloe were off in a corner by themselves, arm wrestling.

    Principal Skinnard looked on from afar, shaking his head. He silently thanked God that those two crazy kids would be graduating in a month.

  • The Precious Knick-Knack

    The Precious Knick-Knack

    Image credit; Антон Воробьев @ Unsplash

    Greetings! It’s time once again for Sadje’s What Do You See? Click here to join in.

    Woe is me, and what am I to do?

    You see, I don’t fit anywhere. The leprechauns don’t want me because of me half-dwarf-ness. Likewise, the dwarves won’t claim me due to the kelly-green leprechaun blood ramblin’ through me veins. It’s not fair, I’m tellin’ ya!

    Is it me own fault me pappy couldn’t keep it zipped? An’ the word “no’ wasn’t in me mum’s vocabulary? So, here I am — the precious product of their night of crazed lust. What were they thinkin’?

    Oh, I thought o’ joinin’ the circus, but there isn’t one around here. I tried the carnivals but was told I wasn’t weird enough to draw a crowd. Now that hurt me feelins’! Imagine?

    Yep, this knick-knack gig is the only position I could find. Talk about boring. Plus, the only benefit is that I have a place to sit.

    So, me thinks it’s time to end it all. I’ll just “fall” off this balcony railing into the kiddy pool, an’ be done with it.

    Only one problem: the pool is empty. I’d end up crackin’ me head open, or worse.

    ‘Spose I’ll just sit here a bit longer an’ think.