Subscribe to continue reading
Subscribe to get access to the rest of this post and other subscriber-only content.
Author: Ergo, the Ogre
-
Fibbing Friday | 01/31/25
It’s Fibbing Friday again! This week the questions are courtesy of Di’s works pension newsletter quiz.
1. To the nearest mile, how many miles of nerves do we have in the human body?About 50 miles too short.
2. Of the 300,000 different edible plant on earth, how many do we eat?I only eat the plants on Pluto.
3. What colour is snow on Pluto?The last time we vacationed at our timeshare; it seemed to be a lovely shade of periwinkle.
4. What is the dot on the letter ‘i’ called?It is synonymous with the dot above the lower-case ‘j’, but different than the horizontal line that crosses the letter ‘t.’
5. How many presidents of the USA died on July 4th?The ones who were trying to impress girls by sticking firecrackers up their noses.
6. What does Pinocchio mean in Italian?Pinocchio is a type of pasta that grows longer when you lie to it.
7. What are the six official languages of the UN?Pig Latin and its five variations.
8. What city was Italy’s first capital?The letter “I” was (and is) Italy’s first capital.
9. What does an average human head weigh?Judging by the way the world is today, not more than a few ounces.
10. Who was Spencer Perceval?Spencer Percival was my 5th grade gym teacher.
Share this:
-
The Welcome Wagon
The bus lumbered along the road. At every hour or so, the driver smashed the pedal to the floor, screeching the brakes. The doors slammed open, and passengers swarmed the vehicle like fleas to a bloodhound in June. Before everyone sat down, the doors crashed together and the bus resumed its journey with a lurch, jolting and jostling its fares.“Ouch!”
“Are you okay?” She asked as the man rubbed his head.
“Maybe…for the moment, anyway,” he replied, checking his hand for blood. “I don’t seem to be bleeding.”
The man and woman had nothing more to say to one another. She looked out the window, but there was only darkness. The passengers spoke in whispers, if at all. There was no ventilation except when the doors slivered to allow people to board. The bus was sardine-crowded now, but passengers continued to climb onboard: never departing.
The air was spicy with sweat and no toilets.
“Do you know how long…? Her voice trailed off. She picked at the skin around her fingernails and stared at her lap.
He shook his head. “No. “
“But do you think …”
A child’s voice pierced the air: “Mommy! I have to go potty now!” There was a rustling, whining, and a― “Shhhh! Honey, I know, I know… Please…For Mommy? Please?” ―before the “potty” announced itself with a stink. The passengers tried to ignore the odors that bee-stung their eyes and nostrils.
They reminded themselves that the kid had no choice. She couldn’t help it.
None of them could.
The woman removed her glasses; her head bowed in prayer. She held a handkerchief to her nose and mouth as tears streaked her cheek.
The bus shrieked to a stop and flung open its doors. The vehicle rumbled with impatience as it awaited the crowd to squeeze onboard. Expressions turned from shock to disbelief, and then to panic as the newcomers absorbed their situation.
The man and woman strained their necks toward the door, nostrils struggling, craning for a breath of clean.
Fresh air was too far away. The door slammed and they sunk into their seats, defeated.
The woman sighed. “Thirsty,” she said to nobody; perhaps she spoke to God. “…so thirsty…”
The sun opened its eyes, blinking the stars from the night, as indigo faded to orange and then to pink and yellow.
“Daddy,” A boy pointed out the window. “What’s that sign say?”
His father squinted at the soldiers and the shacks behind them. Bile snaked up his throat as his lips tried to form a response.
He had no words because there were no words.
It was the bus driver who answered. “Auschwitz.” He grinned.
Now, louder, as his grin became a sneer: “That sign says Auschwitz!” The driver’s voice was an air-raid siren.
“Welcome home, Jews!”
The brakes screamed and the bus ground to a halt.
The ride was over.
<
div align=”center”>
Photo courtesy of Rabbi Stephen Fuchs Share this:
-
Song Lyric Sunday | 01/19/25
It’s that time again…Song Lyric Sunday! This week our host, Jim Adams of A Unique Title for Me blog has tasked us with choosing a song by a forgotten band. I’ve chosen Chick-A-Boom by Daddy Dewdrop.
The Story
Daddy Dewdrop is the pen name for veteran singer, songwriter, and actor Richard “Dick” Monda (b. 1940) who became famous as a recording artist during the early 1970s. As Daddy Dewdrop, he is best known for the cheeky “Chick-A-Boom (Don’t Ya Jes’ Love It)” (1971). Co-written by Janice Lee Gwin and Linda Martin, this mostly spoken novelty smash was produced by Monda and Don Sciarrotta. Monda produced music for the Saturday morning cartoon TV series, “Groovie Goolies,” for which this song was originally recorded.
Mr. Dewdrop explains, “My first record was released a year before I graduated with a degree in mathematics. When I heard it on the radio, I was hooked. Although it took over a hundred releases before I had a hit, I was driven to succeed. By this time, I had a wife, and two children and times were tough. When my first song charted, Soul Drippin’ by the Mauds out of Chicago, I gained a small foothold. Eventually my songs were recorded by Tom Jones, Gary Puckett and the Union Gap, Kenny Rogers, Engelbert Humperdinck, Frankie Laine, Sammy Davis Jr., The Standells, Papa John Creach, Wolfman Jack, The Righteous Brothers, Rufus, The Chi-Lites, Ringo Starr and others totaling around six hundred recordings.” Learn more about Daddy Dewdrop by visiting his webpage at https://www.daddydewdrop.com
Two years later, Monda put together a backing band of studio musicians, including Tom Hensley, who later became the musical director for Neil Diamond, and Butch Rillera, who became a member of the group Redbone and recorded a version of the song.
The Lyrics
Last night I had a crazy dream
About a chick in a black bikini
Oh, she looked so good
She couldn't be real
She must be a magic genie
But then she disappeared around the corner
All I saw were three doors
And the top of her bikini
I made it through the first door
There was a party going on
I asked about the chick
But what they said was freaky
Chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom
Don't ya jes' love it
Chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom
Don't you jes' love it
Chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom
Don't ya jes' love it
Chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom-boom-boom
I found the bottom half
Behind the second door
Which took me to Africa I presume
This really far out cat
Was screaming half crazy
"Bomp boom a loo bom a long bam boo"
I said, hey man
Cut that jive
And tell me where the chick went
But he looked at me
As pleased as could be
And said these words
But I wonder what he meant
Chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom
(Mmmmm-aaaah)
Don't ya jes' love it
Chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom
(Mmmmm-aaaah)
Don't you jes' love it
Chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom
(Mmmmm-aaaah)
Don't ya jes' love it
Chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom-boom-boom
Aaaah, don't ya jes' love it
Mmm-hum, don't ya jes' love it
Don't ya love it, don't ya love it
Oh yeah, don't ya love it
Don't ya jes' love it now
I opened the third door and there she was
And she whispered so sexy, hello-ooh
I tried to do the same
And impress her with my style
But why I said this
I'll never know
Chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom
(Mmmmm-aaaah)
Don't ya jes' love it
Chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom
(Mmmmm-aaaah)
Don't you jes' love itThe Video
Share this:
-
It’s the Sunshine
It’s the sunshine
that makes me sad.
So bright
a relentless interrogator
exposing my secrets
my pain
leaving me nowhere
to hide my
Self.
But the rain!
The rain envelopes me
in her fresh
silvery droplets.
Asking no questions
She comforts me
with a misty hug
and lets me be
whoever I am.
Or not.
Share this:
Ergo, the Ogre 