Ergo, the Ogre

Author: Ergo, the Ogre

  • The Best of the Best: E.C. Was Here

    The Best of the Best: E.C. Was Here

    It’s Sunday again, which means it’s time for Jim Adams’ Song Lyric Sunday. This week we are to choose an artist who has won the Brit Award for and Outstanding Contribution to Music. I’ve chosen Eric Clapton who was the recipient of the BRIT Award in 1987. The songs Sunshine of your Love, (Cream), Layla (Derek and the Dominoes) and the album 461 Ocean Blvd are what seemed to do it for him.

    The Facts

    Eric Clapton was born in Ripley, Surrey, England, on March 30, 1945. His real father was a Canadian pilot, but he didn’t find that out until he was 53. When he was 2 his mother felt she was unable to look after him, so Eric then went to live with his grandparents. When he was 14, he took up the guitar, having been influenced by blues artists such as B.B King, Buddy Guy, Muddy Waters and John Lee Hooker.

    In 1966 Clapton formed a new band with two other proficient and gifted rockers, bassist Jack Bruce and drummer Ginger Baker. This group, Cream, achieved international popularity with its sophisticated high-volume fusion of rock and blues that featured improvisatory solos. Clapton’s mastery of the blues form and phrasing, his rapid runs, and his melancholy vibrato were widely imitated by other rock guitarists. The high energy and emotional intensity of his playing on such songs as “Crossroads” and “White Room” set the standard for the rock guitar solo. Cream disbanded in late 1968, having recorded such albums as Disraeli Gears (1967), Wheels of Fire (1968), and Goodbye (1969).

    Trivia

    George Harrison was married to model Pattie Boyd from 1966 to 1977. Clapton fell in love with Boyd and commenced to write “Layla” and “Wonderful Tonight” especially for her. She left Harrison for Clapton, and they were married from 1979 to 1989. Harrison and Clapton referred to each other as “husbands-in-law”.

    Despite selling hundreds of millions of records as a solo artist and as a member of Genesis, Phil Collins has said that playing drums for Clapton was the highlight of his whole career.

    Eric managed to kick heroin addiction via electro-acupuncture. Boy George received the same therapy ten years later.

    He was on the short list of guitarists to replace Brian Jones in The Rolling Stones.

  • Family Secret

    Family Secret

    It’s First Line Friday at The Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie blog! This post from 2018 is being recycled for Fandango’s Flashback Friday.

    Florence paused at the door, “what the hell did you just say?”

    “I said,” Frankie grabbed the remote and turned down the volume on the TV. “That I joined the Zombie Apocalypse Response Team.”

    “I cannot believe my ears.” Florence closed the door and plopped down in the closest chair. “Why, Frankie? Why would you do something like this?”

    “Mom, really? I can’t just sit by and watch the horror! Yesterday they got a family of five just a few blocks from here. Who knows what the hell will happen next?”

    It was as if Frankie hadn’t spoken. Florence shook her head in disbelief. “Your father and I didn’t raise you this way.”

    “You barely raised me at all! The TV here was my role model, babysitt—“

    “You watch that smart mouth!’ Florence cut him off. “Your father and I worked damned hard to give you the best of everything!”

    “Break out the violins…” Frankie commenced to play an air violin with a sorrowful expression on his face.

    Florence’s body shook with rage. She picked up the antique vase that had been in her family for generations and hurled it at her son. “You filthy ingrate!”

    Frankie ducked to the right and the vase smashed against the wall.

    “Ya missed.”

    And then it happened.

    Florence’s eyes bulged, her skin began flaking and she shed it like a snakeskin. Then her lips slipped off her face and slid to the floor in a wad of drool.

    Slowly she rose from her chair and began walking toward Frankie. “There’s something we may have forgotten to mention…” she cackled.

    “Holy stinkin’ crap!”  Tony grabbed a broom and tried to shove the end of it through her left eyeball, but his aim was off. He bored a hole in her forehead instead.

    Florence merely laughed. “The Zombie Apocalypse Task Force, eh?”

    Seemingly out of nowhere, a legion of zombies stormed the house.

    Frankie stood paralyzed with fear. “Uh, m-m-maybe I should rethink joining up?”

    “You’ve got no choice, now.”

    And they were on him.

  • Fibbing Friday

    Fibbing Friday

    It’s time for Fibbing Friday again, from the amazing pensitivity 101 blog. Below are the ten questions we are to answer.

    1. Who invented Elf on the Shelf? 

    The same guy who invented pet rocks and Clackers.


    2.  Have you been naughty or nice? 

    Depends on who you ask.


    3.  Who or what is The Beast from the East? 

    My sister-in-law is the Beast from the East.


    4.  Who was Santa’s Little Helper? 

    Herve Villechaize, who played Tattoo on Fantasy Island.

    5.  What is a Yule log? 

    A Yule Log is what happens after too much egg nog and marzipan.


    6.  What is marzipan?

    It’s one of the five major food groups on Mars.


    7.  What is Egg Nog?

    Egg nog is that slimy, white string-like thing that’s on some raw egg yolks


    8.  Why is there a fairy on the top of the Christmas Tree (be polite!) 

    A fairy looks better than a monkey and can stay still longer.


    9.  What are baubles? 

    When you go fishing you attach a bauble to your fishing line to tell you when a fish takes the bait.


    10. What is a tree skirt?

    Tree skirts are worn by exceptionally modest Christmas trees. Usually females, but some males wear them.

  • Mr. Pitts

    Mr. Pitts

    Clowns are people. Real people.

    No bullshit.

    Believe it or not, our lives don’t begin and end under the big top. We have homes, wives, parents, children, friends, and ups & downs. Just like you, we have lives.

    We have names, too. Brace yourselves, but Bozo, Blinky, and Clarabelle are stage names. For example, my name is Samuel Pitts. You may call me Mr. Pitts.

    See this hand? Yep, the one holding a cigarette. (I’m a smoker. Oh yeah, and I drink occasionally, too.) It’s not a fake hand. I was born this way. It kept growing long after the other one stopped. It’s not funny, trust me. Sometimes I don’t feel like using it in my act to make people laugh. Sometimes I feel like taking the stupid glove off and making each and every one of you look at it, long and hard. But, I would never do that.

    I’d get fired.

    We’re not always stupid, crazy, or silly either. News Flash: It’s an act.  Yes, and act. You know, like make-believe? We are educated human beings. Some of us even have degrees and “real” jobs.

    True, some of us are full-time clowns/entertainers, but for many of us it’s a side job, a way to earn some extra bucks.

    And then, of course, there are a few, like me, who know no other way. We’re clowns because that’s the way things worked out. I grew up in the carny. Mom was a trapeze artist and Dad was a clown. We traveled with whichever carnival or circus would hire us. That was my childhood. When I turned 18, well, what else was I prepared for?

    Another thing that might surprise you is that clowns have feelings. Cut us, and we bleed. Hurt us, and we cry. We suffer from depression, anxiety, PTSD, and a host of other conditions, just like other people.

    Clown stress is difficult for a civilian to understand. Can you imagine dressing up like this every day and acting like a goofball in order to make people laugh when your life partner/lover just dumped you, or your child is ill, or a parent is in hospice?

    It’s no wonder some of us snap. And people wonder where scary clowns come from. Hah!

    I’ll tell you where they come from: right here.

    Right. Here.

  • Some Hearts: A Villanelle

    Some Hearts: A Villanelle

    Some hearts were meant for breaking

    Unluckily born in vain

    Thornbird’s song in the making.

    Some hearts were meant for taking

    Not caring if they cause pain

    Some hearts were meant for breaking.

    Some hearts go through life faking

    It’s their tears that bring the rain

    Thornbird’s song in the making.

    Some hearts expect forsaking

    From love, they vow to abstain

    Some hearts were meant for breaking.

    Some hearts welcome the aching

    And laugh at love’s cruel game

    Thornbird’s song in the making.

    Some hearts ever mistaking

    itchy lust for the germane.

    Some hearts were meant for breaking

    Thornbird’s song in the making.