Ergo, the Ogre

Author: Ergo, the Ogre

  • Sappho & Whipped Cream

    Sappho & Whipped Cream

    It is time for Question Fun with A Guy Called Bloke. The questions are below:

    • Are you happy with your body parts?

    I appreciate all they’ve done for me, but there are a few things I’d change.

    • What is the worst song ever?

    That Elton John song, Someone Saved my Life Tonight. I really dislike that one.

    • What is the strangest culinary thing you have ever done with a bowl of fruit?

    I’ve never done anything like that with fruit. But vegetables, now that’s a story!

    • What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done with whipped cream?

    When I used to take care of an elderly friend, I’d let her have whipped cream on her cereal instead of milk. Later on, I’d squirt it right in her mouth. It was a laugh riot. We had so much fun together.

    • Okay, you have been tasked with inviting 7 famous yet dead people to your dinner party – who is on your list and more importantly, why those 7?

    I would need to have two dinner parties to accommodate the variety of personalities. But here’s who I’d invite to one party:

    a. Charles Bukowski

    b. Franz Kafka

    c. Ernest Hemingway

    d. Emily Dickinson

    e. Adelaide Crapsey

    f. Sappho

    g. Flannery O’Connor

    I think it would be interesting to hear what these seven poets had to say to one another, especially Bukowski and Hemingway. Also, maybe I could pick up some writing tips.

    • What goes up, but never comes down until it stops?

    A fever?

    • If l have a head, a foot and four legs what am l?

    A bed.

  • Noodling the Mitre

    Noodling the Mitre

    It’s Fibbing Friday again. Time to get your wading boots on and start fibbing! PCGuyIV is our host today, and the questions are below.

    • How did tartar sauce get its name?

    When you go to the dentist and the assistant scrapes the junk of your teeth, they save it, add some mayonnaise and pickle relish to it, and Voila! Tartar sauce.

    Why is Mardis Gras (aka Shrove Tuesday) also known as Pancake Day?

    Because it is the day that everyone in New Orleans cooks up several batches of pancakes, then drives around town with them, lobbing them at people. Fun!

    Why do so many people eat fish during Lent?

    Nothing else to do.

    What is the difference between sushi and sashimi?

    Sashimi has an extra syllable.

    What is noodling?

    It’s a practice originating in the wilds of Andorra in which people go out and catch wild noodles with their bare hands.

    How do you clean a fish?

    I fill up the sink with lukewarm water and add some Mr. Bubble. Then I get a powder puff and it’s rub-a-dub-dub time! Be sure to wash under their gills. Very gently.

    What are Swedish fish?

    Swedish fish are very persnickety in that they will only allow themselves to be caught by fishermen and women using gravlax for bait.

    What is a Bishop’s Mitre?

    It’s a mitre passed down from Bishop to Bishop.

    What was the movie, The Shoes of the Fisherman about?

    It’s about this guy who likes to fish and has all kinds of fun adventures with his shoes.

    What is the first day after Lent known as?

    Thumbprint-on-the-Forehead Wednesday.

  • Like it Was

    Like it Was

    It’s Fandango’s Flashback Friday! This week I’ve chosen a post I had forgotten about from 2018.

    It’s the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Sunday Writing Prompt – Countdown! Today’s writing prompt is a letter to Santa Claus.

    Dear Santa Claus,

    How are you? I am fine and hope you are the same.

    I’ve been pretty good this year, considering. Don’t you think? There’s a lot of things I could’ve done but didn’t do. There’s also a lot of things I should’ve done, but didn’t do. It evens out though, right?

    This year, I want something extra special. If anyone can pull this off, it’s you. Are you ready?

    I would like it if you could arrange for me to spend one more day with my mom. It’s been almost 15 years, I know, but a person never gets too old to stop needing their mom. I’m sure you miss your mom, too.

    That said, I want to do all the fun things we used to do together, one last time. Like shopping. Mom & I used to love to go to the shopping malls. Now, malls aren’t the same now as they were then. Since she’s been gone the internet has changed everything, so maybe you could fix it so the malls would be like we remember them in the 1980s and 90s. You know, like Cherry Creek Mall and Villa Italia (of blessed memory). Oh, and maybe we could swing by Randhurst (also demolished) in Mount Prospect. That’s where we used to go when I was little and we still lived in the Chicago area. It had those cool animal statues that kids could climb on. I even saw you there once! Remember?

    Would you please put Randhurst back together and make it like it was, in say, 1964? Just for a day is all.

    Then after that, we could settle in for the night and play Scrabble. We had more fun playing that game!

    This is probably asking a lot, but (on a different day, of course) I’d also like one last Zuraff family reunion with everyone who is still here and passed on. We would all have to be young enough and healthy so we could all enjoy ourselves. It would be just like it was— at Aunt Franny & Uncle My’s house on Euclid, where our reunions were always held. I guess that means you’d have to get rid of the people who live in their house now, and of course, put the giant weeping willow tree back in the yard. But only for a day.

    That’s what I really want, Santa, for things to be just like they were, one last time.

    You can do this for me, right?

    Thank you!

    Sincerely,

    Susie

    SusanWritesPrecise/Susan Marie Shuman
    Randhurst Mall in Mount Prospect, IL
  • The Lack: A Villanelle

    The Lack: A Villanelle

    When twilight pales and fades to black,

    A breeze swirls through the willow trees

    I wonder what it is I lack.

    Sometimes I wish that you’d come back

    Other times I’m glad to be free

    When twilight pales and fades to black.

    We let our marriage get off track

    But you know it’s not all on me.

    I wonder what it is I lack.

    Now you live in a tiny shack

    On the very edge of the sea

    When twilight pales and fades to black.

    On nights like this I almost crack,

    Missing the way things used to be.

    I wonder what it is I lack.

    Perhaps I ought to take you back

    Just you and me—and she makes three.

    When twilight pales and fades to black,

    I wonder what it is I lack.

  • Among the Hazelwood

    Among the Hazelwood

    It’s Prosery Monday over at the dVerse Poets Pub. This week, our prompt comes from a Yeats poem, The Song of the Wandering Aengus: I went out to the hazel wood,
    Because a fire was in my head’.     144 words.

    It was a day like any other. Nothing special or noteworthy aside from it was the day you left. I looked everywhere I thought you might be and eventually even places I knew you’d never go.

    Were you kidnapped? Amnesia? Tired of me and wanted a new life? Perhaps you’d met someone new.

    You should’ve said goodbye unless you didn’t know you were going.

    Two days passed. I went out to the hazelwood because a fire was in my head; memories burning.

    Remember when our love was new, we’d walk amongst the trees and talk about our future? Suddenly, I knew if you were anywhere, it was among the hazelwood. And there it was: the very tree in which you’d carved our initials.

    A balmy breeze shimmered the leaves on the hazel branches and gently ruffled your hair as your lifeless body hung, swaying.