Shweta of the soulsearchsite is our host for the Saturday Six Word Story Prompt. This week our prompt is the word wedding.
Bouquet thrown in gutter; lawyers contacted.
Author: Ergo, the Ogre
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Fibbing Friday 01/01/2021
It’s Fibbing Friday again and Di of the Pensivity 101 blog, is our host.
- Where will you find ‘One for his knob’ and ‘Two for his heels’ ?
Behind the Green Door
2. Where will you find winks, squidgers and a target?
Any bar on Ladies’ Night.
3. What is a numerator?
It’s a device that keeps track of the size of numbers and doesn’t let them get too large.
4. There are 206 in the human body. What are they?
Calories.
5. What can be waxing or waning?
Legs can need waxing and it could be waning outside.
This is wane. 6. What is The Mystery Machine?
The sewing machine has always baffled me.
7. What was the Millenium Falcon?
Every millenium or so, the stork takes a night off and the falcon delivers the babies.
8. What will you find inside a ping pong ball?
Ping pong air.
9. What is a fortress?
It’s where they keep the air from dead ping pong balls so no one will snort it.
10. How many spots do newborn Dalmatian puppies have?
That depends whether or not it is waning outside.
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Out of the Family
It was the day I’d met my father for the first time.
He wasn’t at all like I’d imagined which stood to reason since I’d never even seen a picture. We looked nothing alike. He appeared to be of Scandinavian descent, while I was a dead-ringer for a young Zelda, Queen of the Gypsies. This meant I must favor my mother whoever she is — or was. My father and I looked at one another, poker-faced. He then put an odd-looking device up to the opening in his throat and began speaking like a cartoon character.
Cancer of the esophagus? Whoa! Was it hereditary? I touched my own throat wondering if that would be our commonality.
I was unable to focus on what he was saying. The sun blazed white-hot through the window, temporarily blinding me. Good. I didn’t want to look at anything. What I did want was for The Sperm Donor to stop making that goofy noise.
“Where have you been? Why now after twenty years?”
In his Donald Duck voice, my father explained that he couldn’t tell me, that in doing so his security clearance might be compromised. And then he winked as if we were old buddies (imagine?), “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”
Okay, asshole.
I didn’t care at this point where he’d been or what he’d been doing.
“Where’s Mom?” I lit a cigarette and blew the smoke away from him. Manners count, you know? But in retrospect, blowing second-hand smoke away from a cancer victim is about as effective as taking birth control pills after you’ve become pregnant. At least I’d maintained the façade of politeness. “What’s her name? Is she still alive?”
My father eyed my cigarette with lust so I offered him one. He took it, but didn’t light it. It must have felt good just to hold it.
“Your mother’s name is Beverly,” he squeaked through the device. “She’s alive…very much so.”
Beverly. My mother is alive and her name is Beverly. “Where is she? Do you know?”
“She’ stayed…she’s at home.” He couldn’t or wouldn’t look at me.
“At home.” My throat tightened. “You live together then…”
“For twenty-five years…married…”
How could this be? “But I’m only twenty…why did…?” I wanted to throw up.
My father stared out the window. He’d placed his talking device in his pocket. Did this mean the conversation was over? I think NOT!
“Talk to me! Tell me why…! You have to!”
Nothing. My father said nothing. Then finally, after several minutes my father yanked his voice from his pocket: “Twins. We had room for only one child.”
It was as if I’d stepped out of my body and watched the scene unfold as if on TV, but no remote control by which to turn it off.
A twin. I’m half of someone else.
“And you kept the other one.” My body trembled like a Chihuahua in an ice bath. “Why? How did you…? How could you…choose…?”
Dad was sweating now. Drops of pearly salt had formed on his forehead. “Bianca, that’s your sister, your twin. She…Bianca…” Dad was choking up; couldn’t spit out what he wanted to say. Either that or the device was malfunctioning. Oh, how I wanted to climb down his throat and pull out his words!
He began again. “Bianca was born with…a defect. Horrible, horrible…defect. No one would have wanted her. But you, you were, you are perfect and healthy and beautiful. There was really no choice…”
“Shut up!” I screamed. “Just shut up!” I grabbed the device from his hand and ran, and ran, and ran…
Until I woke up.
Two nurses had come in my room, each holding one of my day-old twin daughters whom I’d named Beverly and Bianca.
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Truthful Tuesday 12/29/20
Once again it is time for Truthful Tuesday. PCGuyIV of the Thoughts & Theories blog is our host.
While this year may not have been as rough on some as it was on others, I seriously doubt anyone would deny that this was a dumpster fire of a year. However, that doesn’t mean that some good didn’t go on or come out of it. As such, this week’s Truthful Tuesday will be a bit different.
Instead, I would like everyone to share something positive from this year. What you share is up to you. It just has to be something good that happened this year, and it needs to be true.
Again, I would like to thank everyone for their participation, and I look forward to reading what you share! Happy New Year, everyone!
Like Melanie, I am struggling to find something positive.
As an introvert, being alone doesn’t really bother me. In fact, I like it. I am comfortable with myself for the most part, until I do something to piss myself off.
I guess the positive is that I got to see people I never would’ve gotten to see via Zoom. Here in Birmingham, my synagogue is closed but the services are virtual. The next best thing to being there! Most synagogues and churches have Zoom or something similar, which means I can visit temples and “meet” people that under normal circumstances, I’d never have the opportunity to visit. All while sitting comfortably in my pajamas. That part of COVID has been a blessing, for sure.
Aside from that, I cannot think of a positive thing.
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Smoke Without Mirrors
He said it could quite possibly be the most important text he’d ever sent (to her), and would she like to meet him at The Gilded Grasshopper for an early dinner.
Hell, yeah, she would!
With her wild heart pounding, Renée texted back saying she would be there at 6:00.
What could it be? We do business together occasionally, but this is Sunday. And it’s so out of the blue. Leonard is not the spontaneous sort. He said it was important…What if…?
And Renée allowed herself to hope that maybe, just maybe Leonard had changed his mind. Maybe he’d dumped what’s-her-name and realized there really was something between himself and Renée!
“Holy crap,” she mumbled. “What am I gonna wear?”
The news came on and the weatherman was calling for snow that evening. Renée paused to listen, but then tuned it out. She’d ride a ten-speed bike through a blizzard for Leonard. Meteorologists were wrong 50% of the time, anyway.
She made sure she arrived at The Gilded Grasshopper early enough to down a couple glasses of wine before Leonard showed up. She told herself she wanted some time to think; what she really did was allow her imagination to run away with itself. It was true, anything could happen that evening. By the time she was half-way through her second glass of wine, Renée was up for pretty much anything life could throw at her.
She glanced up as he walked through the door. He was as beautiful as ever. How she adored that man! When Leonard saw her, he smiled that killer smile that made Renée melt like a Popsicle on August asphalt.
He rested his chin on the ball of his left hand, and gazed dreamily into her eyes. Heart racing and stomach somersaulting, Renée savored every nanosecond of his attention. While wondering what would happen next, Renée gazed right back into his baby blues. She felt like crying, but didn’t know why. They were neither happy nor sad tears, just tears.
“You really are gorgeous, Renée. “ Leonard sighed. “You know that, don’t you?”
“All I know is what you tell me.” With quivering lips, she smiled what she hoped was a seductive smile.
Just then, a waiter appeared and reached to light the candle at their table.
“My name Chin. I am your server this evening. I can start you with appetizer and a drink for you, sir?”
Leonard glanced at Renée’s empty wine glass. “Another for the lady and a glass of red for me, please.
“What about appetizer? Lady look hungry!” Chin joked.
Renée blushed. Although svelte and slinky now, at one time she tipped the scales at 211 lbs. References to hunger and weight still failed to amuse her.
“Hell, yes!” Renée blurted. “Lady starving. Bring Lady Happy Family appetizer and gentleman miso soup!”
“Okay, ma’am,” Chin mumbled and slunk away, bemused. Americans were so weird.
“You remembered I like miso.” Leonard smiled, ignoring Renée’s outburst.
“I remember everything. So! Tell me. What’s this little rendezvous about?
“Oh, right.” He cleared his throat and looked at her with those dreamy blue eyes. “I’ve given it a lot of thought. This is hard for me, Renée, because I have, well…”
Renée’s heart began to soar. This dream really was going to come true. Leonard loved her. She’d known it in her heart and now his heart knew it too!
Chin arrived with their wine and soup, and served them without making eye contact. Renée took a sip of her Chardonnay.
“You have what, Leonard?” Her green eyes sparkled with anticipation.
“What I have doesn’t matter. I cannot act on my feelings, so I am not even going to talk about them. But what I did want to talk to you about is this: the Firm has taken on a new partner, Peter Marrano is his name. He’s bright, attractive and funny as hell—“
“What’s that got to do with me?”
“Hopefully everything!”
“I don’t understand…” but she was afraid she did.
“If you’re interested, I‘d like to introduce the two of you. He’s alone and new to the city, and you’re…”
“What, Leonard? I’m what?”
“Uhh. You’re umm, I mean you’re, well you know…you’re…”
She cocked an eyebrow and tilted her head, waiting for him to finish.
“You’re single too, so I thought maybe you and Peter might be a good match.” he took a sip of wine and looked away. “Maybe you’ll like one another.”
At this point she didn’t care about anything. All she wanted was to go home, snuggle deep under the covers and let the tears come.
“I guess.” she shrugged. “When does he want to meet?”
“You’re interested?” Leonard looked up suddenly in surprise.
“Sure. Why not?” Renée emptied her wine glass in one gulp. “Maybe he’ll be Mr. Right,” she lied.
“That’s great!” Leonard beamed.
“Is it?” Renée felt her eyes fill with tears and she tried to blink them away. She’d be damned if she’d let him see her cry.
“What do mean?”
“Nothing.” She waved his comment away. “I have to use the restroom. Would you order me another glass, please?”
Once in the restroom, Renée allowed herself a silent cry–just enough to take the edge off, but then stopped.
Wait a minute. Didn’t he say something about having feelings and not being able to act on them? What did that mean? He’s a grown man and single. Nothing is stopping him from acting on anything. He likes me, sure, just not enough.
With that she blew her nose, fixed her make-up, took a couple of deep breaths and sauntered back to their table.
Her glass of wine and the Happy Family appetizer was waiting for her.
“That was fast,” she commented.
“You were gone for fifteen minutes.” Leonard looked concerned. “I was about to ask one of the waitresses to check on you.”
Maybe he really did care. At least a little. Renée looked into Leonard’s eyes for several seconds and realized that she loved him more than ever now. Shit.
The evening continued without incident: small talk and appropriate responses. In fact, it was so uneventful it might as well never happened.
After they both finished eating, Renée folded her napkin over her plate. “Thank you for dinner, Leonard. I’d better be getting home. I have an early day tomorrow.”
Leonard looked at his watch. “Oh, right. Hey, I’ll be in touch about Peter…”
“Yeah.” Renée glanced at him. “Okay.”
Although its flame was nearly non-existent, Renée blew out the candle that Chin had lit as they got up from their table. The waxy smoke curled its way to the ceiling.
While waiting for her old Buick to warm up, Leonard pulled out of the parking lot and drove away. She watched his taillights blend in with the other cars on the road until she could no longer distinguish them.
As Renée backed out of her parking space, it began to snow.
The weatherman had been right. Good for him. I still would’ve ridden a ten-speed, though.
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Ergo, the Ogre 