Ergo, the Ogre

Author: Ergo, the Ogre

  • I Was a Teenage Troglodyte

    I Was a Teenage Troglodyte

    It’s time once again for SammiScribbles Weekend Writing Prompt. This week, our word is troglodyte. I went way over the word limit.

    Tanya was a troglodyte. No one knew which side of the family carried the gene as both parents fiercely denied responsibility. None of the relatives drug their knuckles, at least not in public, nor did they eat reptiles. Well, except for the time that her cousin Kenny ate a lizard. But that was different, she had him in a choke hold and made him eat it. That didn’t count.

    If you’re a troglodyte, you’re a troglodyte. Nothin’ you can do about it — was Tanya’s outward attitude. But on the inside, she was hurting. Like most teenagers she wanted to fit in, but it just wasn’t happening.

    Tanya tried everything, make-up, new hairstyles; she tried to copy the wardrobes of her peers although her oddly proportioned troglodyte body refused to conform to humanoid clothing.

    The one plus was that she was good at sports. Being larger and stronger than most kids her age (adults too, probably), in gym class the boys fought over on who’s team Tanya would play.

    But that wasn’t the way that Tanya wanted to be liked. She wanted someone to tell her she was pretty, or had a nice personality, or anything that had nothing to do with size or strength. She didn’t even care if she was popular; she was tired of being a pariah.

    One day, Tanya decided to visit a few plastic surgeons in hopes they could help. When she arrived at her first appointment, the doctor looked at her, stifled a chuckle and shook his head.

    “I’m sorry Miss, but I wouldn’t touch you with someone else’s hand.”

    Her eyes welled-up with tears and then the anger came.

    “I see.” Tanya glared at him. “Well, I certainly don’t mind touching you with mine.”  With that, Tanya hauled off and throat-punched him, sending him across the room and against the far wall.

    She turned on her heel and left.

    Rude bastard.

    If evolution means being pretty on the outside and ugly on the inside, screw it. I’m just gonna be myself and let them all go reinvent the wheel. With any luck they’ll run themselves over with it.

  • Share Your World | 12/28/2020

    It’s time to Share Your World again. Hosted by Melanie over at Sparks From a Combustible Mind.

    Pick three words to describe this past year.   (please keep them PG. Thanks).

    a. anxiety

    b. loss

    c. apprehesion

    What were the best books you read this year?   Or the best movie you saw?  

    Hardscrabble Road by George Weinstein

    The Soul by Adin Steinsaltz

    The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

    Because there was lots of time for looking inward, what is one big personal lesson you learned this past year?

    Things can change very, very quickly. Nothing is a given. I learned how much I took for granted. It was a huge wake-up call.

    Do you think Covid has strengthened or weakened societal bonds?

    I think it has strengthened societal bonds. Well, for most of us. We’ve learned, I hope, the necessary skills of sticking together and having one another’s backs. Zoom was a real lifesaver. If not for that, it would’ve been even more isolating.

  • Fibbing Friday on Saturday

    Fibbing Friday on Saturday

    It’s Fibbing Friday on Saturday! If you’d like to participate, check out Thoughts & Theories. Fun stuff!

    • Why is there a small plastic baby inside of a king cake?

    Because a rubber baby would melt and stink up the cake.

    • What is Three Kings Day?

    It’s the day that the Three Kings of Orient meet up at Good King Wenceslas’ house and shoot some hoops. Then they freshen-up and go over to Stephen’s place for a feast and impromptu bootie call.

    Courtesy of pipiko03/art/Good-King-Wenceslas-343581698
    • Why is Boxing Day not formally observed in the US?

    Because Canada thought of it first.

    • Traditionally, Christmas Day is the first of the Twelve Days of Christmas. By that same tradition, what is today known as?

    Umm. Saturday?

    • Why is the US Presidential Inauguration held at noon on January 20th?

    Free lunch?

    • Why are the President and Vice President of the United States elected together rather than separately?

    Can you imagine the drama it would cause if they were elected separately? Plus, the first and second lady have to get along well so they have someone to hang out with for the next four years. So really, it’s the First Lady who chooses the VP.

    • Who swears in the President of the United States?

    The person with the filthiest sailor-mouth.

    • In certain US states that have lots of prairie land, there are signs warning not to drive through smoke. Why?

    If you drive through smoke you will cruise right into a portal leading to another diminsion from which no one has ever escaped/returned. Some say this ghastly place is called…Alabama.

    Courtesy of Jodi Smith at Ranker.com
    • Why did Air France and British Airways suspend the use of all Concorde aircraft in 2003?

    Due to the shortage of concorde grapes. Welch’s didn’t have enough to make their grape jelly when the aircraft was functional. Hence the spike of jelly prices in the earlt 2000s.

    • Why was there no supersonic replacement for the Concorde once all of them had been decommissioned?

    In a scientific poll, People preferred grape jelly to airplanes on their toast.

    mycrafts.com
  • The Elder’s Hogan

    The Elder’s Hogan

    It’s Wordle-day at MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie! We are to create a story using at least ten of the words below:

    Rub

    Psyche

    Vitiate – spoil or impair the quality or efficiency of: development programmes have been vitiated by the rise in population. • destroy or impair the legal validity of: the insurance is vitiated because of foolish acts on the part of the tenant.

    Rose

    Receive

    Occurrence

    Persuade

    Rooftop

    Nightlife

    Monstrosity

    Clay

    Pigeon

    Big Thunder and Clay Pidgeon had been sneaking around for several months. They’d each had been promised to members of their own tribes, but were secretly in love with one another.

    Big Thunder’s fiancée” was named Withering Rose. She was a nice enough girl, maybe a little on the plain side, but she was okay. Let’s just say her name suited her.

    Clay Pidgeon’s prospective spouse was a monstrosity of a man who went by the name of Screaming Scorpion.  His name suited him too, unfortunately. Screaming Scorpion had no friends probably because he had no social skills. The big slob managed to rub just about everyone the wrong way. Clay Pidgeon’s father had lost a poker game to Screaming Scorpion’s dad, and Clay Pidgeon was the prize.

    Both weddings would take place within the next couple of weeks, and the two lovers were panicked.

    “Oh, Big Thunder! What are we going to do?” Clay Pidgeon whined. “I’d rather eat raw corn off the cob than marry that freak!”

    “I know, I know Clay Pidgeon.” Big Thunder sighed. “You think I want to be with Withering Rose for the rest of my life?”

    “There’s only one thing to do then,” Clay Pidgeon concluded. “Let’s blow this joint.”

    “Seriously?”

    “Yes, seriously!” she replied. “There’s nothing here; no nightlife, unless you want to count listening to crickets and watching the stars. We’ve become to old to slide down the Elder’s rooftop.”

    “Yeah, you’re right,” Big Thunder agreed. “Heck, there’s not even a Wal-Mart around here! But where would we go?”

    “Anywhere we want.” Clay Pidgeon shrugged.  “Where would you like to go?”

    Big Thunder was silent for a few minutes as he thought of possibilities. “I know!” His eyes lit up as he grinned. “Chicago! How about Chicago?“

    “Hey, that’s my kind o’ town!” Clay Pidgeon joked.

    “How we gonna get there?”

    “You forgot  I received a pick-up truck for my 18th birthday?

    “Hey, that’s right!”

    Big Thunder smiled that special smile that always melted Clay Pidgeon’s heart. She stepped closer, put her arms around him and gave him a the hottest kiss ever. It made them both dizzy.

    “Damn, girl! You sure can be persuasive.”

    “I was just getting warmed up…” She whispered, gazing at him through half-closed eyelids.

    That night, the two decided to make their escape.

    Clay Pidgeon told her parents she was going to run up to the 7-11 for a bag of Gummie Bears. The 7-11 was a good 30 miles away, so they wouldn’t expect her back too soon.

    Clay Pidgeon could barely contain her excitement as she set off to pick up Big Thunder.  Their new life awaited!

    She  did a double take as she witnessed an obnoxious occurrence while driving past the Elder’s Hogan: Withering Rose and Screaming Scorpion perched on the rooftop, holding hands and laughing, getting ready to slide.

    What the…? A surprising pang of jealousy pierced Clay Pidgeon’s heart. How dare he?

    She decided to drive around the block, just one more time.

     

     

     

  • Twisted Fate

    Twisted Fate

    It’s Fandango’s Flashback Friday again! Yay!

    This piece was originally posted for Photo Challenge Day over at the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie!

    During the bus ride home, Sonya savored the days’ events in her mind’s eye.

    She still couldn’t believe it actually happened. And it was sweeter, better, and…yummier… than she’d ever imagined. What made it even more extraordinary was that their paths had crossed purely by chance — a magical, mystical, fabulous twist of fate!

    Sonya and Russell had always liked one another but never had the opportunity to spend any real time together. Weddings, parties, birthdays and other social gatherings is where they’d run into each other. The noise, music, and laughter made anything more than a few sentences impossible.

    But today was different.

    Today, Russell happened to be on Sonya’s side of town for a lunch meeting that had been cancelled at the last minute. As he was leaving the restaurant, Sonya was entering and they literally ran into one another.

    Why not have lunch together since we’re both here?

    One glass of wine led to a bottle which led to another. They’d ordered food, but were so busy laughing, talking and enjoying each other they’d scarcely touched it.

    Eventually, there was a lull in the conversation, and that’s when Russell made his move. He leaned across the table and kissed Sonya right on the mouth. It was long and lingering, and softer than moonlight.

    When it ended and Russell sat back down, Sonya could see the burn of desire in his brown eyes. She was sure he could see the same in hers.

    As luck would have it, there was a charming little motel right across the street, which is where Sonya and Russell spent the remainder of their first afternoon together.

    Sonya sighed a lover’s sigh.

    If only he wasn’t married to my sister… but now I know why Mona smiles the way she does.