Ergo, the Ogre

Author: Ergo, the Ogre

  • Candy Corn & Cucurbita

    Candy Corn & Cucurbita

    It’s Fibbing Friday again and PCGuyIV is our host. Below are today’s questions.

    ***

     

    Why is October the tenth month rather than the eighth as its name implies?

    If October were the eighth month, we’d have to call it August.

    2. Why is Halloween on October 31st?

    Because if it were on October 32, we’d never get to go Trick-or-Treating.

    3. What exactly is “Pumpkin Spice”?

    It’s another name for the annual Cucurbita Carnivalé which is held in an undisclosed location in southern Andorra. The Cucurbita Carnivalé is to pumpkins what Mardi Gras is to people.

    4.How did the tradition of carving Jack-o’-lanterns start?

    A boy, his imagination, and a knife.

    5. Why are they called “Jack-o’-lanterns”?

    The kid in Answer #4 was named Jack. It was his lantern.

    6. Why is National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) in April when National Poetry Day is October 3rd?

    So people would ponder this mystery and write poetry about it.

    7. What’s the big deal about Columbus Day?

    It’s the day we get to throw leftover Candy Corn during parades.

    8. Why do kids trick-or-treat on Halloween?

    To get a bunch of Candy Corn to throw at parades on Columbus Day.

    9. According to at least one Internet source, October 30th is National Candy Corn Day. Why?

    I don’t know, but they are trying to trick people into thinking it’s a vegetable.

    10. What happens to all the candy corn that doesn’t get eaten?

    See #8.

  • The Book of Samuel

    The Book of Samuel

    There was pregnant pause fit for an ellipsis at the Plath Institute for the Punctuationally Perplexed.

    Apostrophes dangled in mid-air—like modifiers—pondering their functions. Were they in for possession, or did their presence suggest a multitude of charges?

    Commas found themselves scattered, unsure of where to go and how many of them were necessary. Meanwhile, the semi-colons, colons and em-dashes jockeyed for position in the awkward sentences with which Samuel struggled.

    Let us not forget the exhausted, overworked exclamation points—slumped at the end of sentences as though italicized.

    It was a tough life on the chain letter gang: “Not everything is that big of a deal! Couldn’t one of those periods relieve us once in a while?”

    Looking up, a cluster of unremarkable dots lounged lazily; piled in a corner like tiny capers, gathering dust. They shrugged their rounded shoulders and waited for a summons to dot an i, or possibly end a sentence without fanfare.

    It all came to a head when Samuel’s main character uttered a rhetorical question, pitting the exclamation point and question mark against one another in a grammatical duel.

    “It’s a question, so shouldn’t I be the one?” QM reasoned.

    “Duh!” Ex-P rolled his eye. “Not when the question isn’t meant to be answered, Stupid!”

    “Who are you calling “stupid?”

    “Look in the mirror!”

    QM flexed his exaggerated curve with malicious intent.

    Ex-P stiffened in kind; his dotty eye flashing danger, and hissed, “There ain’t room for both of us in this damn sentence…”

    Samuel knew he had to diffuse the situation before the Punctuation Potentates placed The Institute in delete mode, akin to a jailhouse lock-down. The result: naked pages.

    Frantically, Samuel googled “punctuation” in search of a clue.

    And there it was. The Interrobang: an exquisitely functional morphing of the two characters at odds.
    Samuel was enamored with his discovery. In fact, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

    He became obsessed with this dynamic piece of punctuation, so much so that he was unable to write anything but a rhetorical sentence.

    “What to do…O, what to do‽” was Sam’s lament.

    Finally, he decided to get an Interrobang tattoo in hopes of regaining his creative prowess.

    He even added an ellipsis to express continuity, perhaps even infinity.

    Either way, Sam was never the same.

     

     

    SusanWritesPrecise
    Interrobang w/Ellipsis

     

  • Useful

    It’s Song Lyric Sunday! This time, Jim Adams has given us the prompt of brother/sister; children of the same parent. I chose Bill Withers, “Use Me.”

    Lyrics

    My friends feel it’s their appointed duty
    They keep tryna tell me
    All you want to do is use me
    But my answer, yeah to all that use me stuff
    I wanna spread the news
    That if it feels this good getting used
    Oh, you just keep on using me
    Until you use me up
    Until you use me up

    My brother sit me right down and he talked to me
    He told me that I ought not to let you just walk on me
    And I’m sure he meant well
    Yeah, but when our talk was through
    I said, brother, if you only knew
    You’d wish that you were in my shoes
    You just keep on using me
    Until you use me up
    Until you use me up

    Sometimes, it’s true
    You really do abuse me
    You get me in a crowd of high-class people
    And then you act real rude to me
    But, oh baby, baby, baby, baby
    When you love me, I can’t get enough
    I wanna spread the news
    That if it feels this good getting used
    Girl, you just keep on using me
    Until you use me up
    Until you use me up
    Talkin’ ’bout you usin’ people
    It all depends on what you do
    It ain’t too bad the way you’re usin’ me
    ‘Cause I sure am usin’ you to do the things you do
    To do the things you do

    The Story

    “Use Me” is a song, composed and originally recorded by Bill Withers, which was included on his 1972 album Still Bill. It was his second-biggest hit in the United States, released in September 1972, and later reaching No. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.[1] It was kept from No. 1 by both: “Ben” by Michael Jackson and “My Ding-a-Ling” by Chuck Berry.[2] “Use Me” also peaked at No. 2 on the soul chart for two weeks.[3] Withers performed the song on Soul Train on November 4, 1972.[4] Billboard ranked it as the No. 78 song for 1972.[5] The song was certified Gold by the RIAA.[6] The song is noted for its repeated bass figure which is heard alongside a complex rhythm in the percussion.

    Music critic Robert Christgau called “Use Me” “one of the few knowledgeable songs about sex our supposedly sexy music has ever produced”, featuring a “cross-class attraction” in its narrative.[7]

    Grace Jones covered the song – with a reggae-influenced arrangement – on her 1981 album Nightclubbing and subsequently released the song as a single.

     

  • Fibbing Blue Friday

    It’s Fibbing Friday again! Click here to participate.

    1.Why is Royal Blood considered blue?

    Because when you mix it with red you get purple, which is an über-royal color.

    2. What is a Blue Moon?

    A moon that hasn’t been taking his anti-depressants.
    3. What was the song ‘Blue is the Colour’ about?

    I don’t know.
    4. What is meant by blue collar?

    A sad shirt.
    5. What is a blue bonnet?

    It’s margarine that grows wild in Texas.
    6. What did Little Boy Blue play?

    Hard to get.
    7. What changed from brown to blue according to the song?

    Smurfs who took a bath.  Don’t it make a Brown Smurf, Blue?
    8. Where will you find a Blue Nun?

    Alone, at the end of the bar doing shots of Jäegermeister.
    9. Why mustn’t you step on his Blue Suede Shoes?

    Because he will kick you.
    10. What kind of bird has blue feet?

    One who spends a lot of time standing in cold water.

     

    SusanWritesPrecise

  • Ready or Not

     

    You usually win

    at Hide & Seek — know the best hiding places

    and how to not giggle.

    I look everywhere, but

    you’re  nowhere.

    Hours,

    Days,

    Weeks

    and then

    I finally find you:

    grinning all smarty-pants

    from a milk carton.

    (nyah-nyah)

    You’re IT!

    photographsbypeter.com
    photographsbypeter.com