Author: Ergo, the Ogre

  • If You Could Be Mine

    If You Could Be Mine

    If you could be mine

    undoubtedly

    my wildest dreams would

    be realized.

    I’d never ask for anything

    ever again;

    I would have it all —

    my wants, my needs

    my most tender

    desires

    all wrapped up

    in one delicious

    (and heretofore unattainable)

    parcel of mind-blowing bliss.

    Yes, perhaps.

    Perhaps.

    But!

    if you could be mine

    would you?

     

    Brave and Reckless Blog

  • Conversations With Colleen: Meet Author, Susan M. Shuman

    Conversations With Colleen: Meet Author, Susan M. Shuman

    Hello everyone! This week, I’m thrilled to bring you author, Susan M. Shuman. I asked her to pick three or four questions from my huge list HERE. We all aspire to be successful authors, and the best way to learn some tricks of the trade is to ask questions.

    First, please meet my guest, Susan Shuman:

    Susan Marie Shuman is a freelance writer and editor who currently resides in the wilds of Birmingham, AL. She shares her life with four spoiled cats, several friends (not all of them imaginary) and one husband. When she’s not working, Susan enjoys horseback riding, reading, taking her cats for a spin in their pet stroller, and taking naps.

    An ex-bartender, recovering crash test dummy and all-around late bloomer, Susan graduated from the University of South Alabama in 2004 with a BA in English. She minored in Russian.

    Long-range goals include visiting Israel, the Czech Republic and Liechtenstein. Susan is also planning to launch a micro-nation which would be called either Suzannistan or Eastern Suzanorovia.

    ***

    Hi, Colleen. Thanks so much for this interview. I’m looking forward to our chat.

    Hello, Susan. Great to meet you. Tell me, how do you select the names of your characters?

    Character naming is one of the most important aspects of writing in my opinion, as well as the most fun. First, I get an image in my mind’s eye of the character, then I assign certain attributes & personality traits.

    Next, I get my character naming sourcebook and look for a name that matches my character and his/her attributes. Or sometimes, just the sound of the name as it rolls off the tongue makes for a good fit.

    For example, in the story In Pursuit, the main character’s name is Dagmar Bezhumanka. My intention was to provide the reader with an image of a woman searching desperately (dangerously?) for true love.

    Now, that’s an unusual name. I have to ask, do you believe in writer’s block?

    Yes, and I’ve developed a healthy respect for it. In my case, it usually happens when I try to avoid writing something that I know must be written.

    Other times, I think my muse simply gets lazy or wanders off. To goose her into action, I find that finger painting is a great way to get back on track. You use the other side of your brain, which somehow gets the creative juices flowing again. Plus, it’s fun.

    Also, I find that when I wear bizarre color & pattern combinations, mismatched socks, and/or wild make-up, it helps me tap into parts of me previously unknown. Some of my best writing happens when I’m wearing plaids & polka dots and blue metallic eye shadow.

    No, I do not leave the house like this.

     

    That’s ingenious! I love that idea, Susan. Which character(s) created by you do you consider as your masterpiece(s)?

    Without a doubt, it would have to be François and Sebastian Limbourg of The Wild-Ass Series. These are two adolescent brothers, a year apart in age, who have extremely high IQs and wild, wild imaginations.

    A tiny person inside a sperm as drawn by Nicolaas Hartsoeker in 1695 from Wikipedia.com

    It all starts when their grandmother sends them a Homunculus Hero kit for Christmas. The boys incubate a homunculus, name him Pendragon and present him to their mother for her birthday. In another instance, they transform their cat Phydeaux, into a dog, and then back into a cat after remembering that their father is allergic to dogs.

    I’m thinking of turning the series into a novel. As it is now, The Wild Ass Series begins in Gutter Ball: A Collection of Short Stories. It continues in Eddie’s Underwear & Other Shorts. I then continued it in Humannequin, but I unpublished the book because I wasn’t happy with it. My latest effort, Bad Meringue & Other Stories, doesn’t include The Wild-Ass Series.

    Sounds like a fun series, Susan. Have you ever written a memoir? How does that differ from other forms of writing?

    Yes. I am in the midst of writing one right now. It’s called Belles Lettres to my Damn Self.

    Writing a memoir differs from other writing because it rips my guts out. This memoir forces me to be brutally honest with myself, which is much easier said than done. For me, it means poking at painful memories and reliving them to convey the absolute essence of the experience to the reader.

    Why write it if it’s that painful? I’m hoping to circumvent someone else’s devastation — nip it in the bud. If sharing my story helps just one person, then it’s all worthwhile.

    Plus, I find it to be cathartic in a Roto-Rooter-ish kind of way.

    Thanks for stopping by, Susan.

    Thanks for the invite, Colleen. I had a great time.

    Check out Colleen Cheseboro’s blog, here

    How to Contact Susan Shuman

    Amazon Author’s Page: https://www.amazon.com/Susan-Marie-Shuman/e/B06X9ZY4D2

    Blog: https://theabjectmuse.me

    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susanshuman/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/swp59/

    Thanks for stopping by to meet Susan. I’ll see you all again!

  • Spicing the Pumpkin

    Spicing the Pumpkin

    It’s time for Chelsea Ann Owens‘ Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest. The theme is pumpkin spice and the form is Tanka.

    Below is my attempt at terrible Tanka writing.


    Autumn aroma

    fills the air with Halloween

    making one nauseous:

    too much candy and chasing

    it with ten beers then puking.

     

     

    David Geller’s Work. Click to see more cool stuff!
  • Necco Wafers & Porn

    Necco Wafers & Porn

    It’s Tale Weaver over at the MindloveMisery’s Menagerie. Today we have been asked to write about happiness (of all things!).


    Happiness, eh?

    This is a topic I know very little about. Googling it doesn’t help.

    I’ve heard of it, of course. Some people I know have actually experienced it: the real deal. They are happy people.

    I scratch my head.

    They say they are happy at ‘their core.’ “Why?” I asked them, and they look at me like I’m crazy. Then I wanted to ask where my core was located, but decided against it.

    Maybe I don’t have one.

    So, I don’t know. Happiness has eluded me thus far. Although when I was a little kid I was happy and experienced happiness on a regular basis. But then I became aware of the not so nice side of life and realized it wasn’t all about sunshine & lollipops: there were Necco wafers and liver & onions that would occasionally rain on my parade.

    The older I get, it seems, the more it rains Necco wafers and liver.

    Anyway! To me, happiness is similar to porn in that it’s hard to describe, but you know it when you see it.

     

     

     

    Susan WritesPrecise/Susan Marie Shuman

  • The Search

    Today’s mission at the dVerse Poets Pub is to choose a quote from the modernist Bohemian writer, Franz Kafka (one of my all-time faves!) and create from it a nursery rhyme.

    I’ve chosen, “I am a cage, in search of a bird.” from The Blue Octavo Notebooks

     

    Kafka for Kids!


    I am a cage, in search of a bird.

    I am a lake, in search of fish

    a sentence, in search of a word

    a well in search of a wish.

     

    I am an ocean, in search of a sea

    a tree in search of wood

    a dog in search of a flea

    I am bad in search of good.

     

    But more than anything,

    I am myself in search of me.