• They Say: A Villanelle

    They Say: A Villanelle

    September 11, 2021
    SusanWritesPrecise
    lrjfoundation.com

    They say you can’t miss what you never had.

    Who are they and how do they know my heart?

    I dare them to tell me why I’m not sad.

    My heart’s leaking tears; the break is that bad.

    “It’s all in your mind; just make a fresh start.”

    They say you can’t miss what you never had.

    As time goes on life improves not a tad

    and I think of you even at K-mart.

    I dare them to tell me why I’m not sad.

    I profess my love: they think I’ve gone mad

    Life’s a movie, I’m just playing a part.

    They say you can’t miss what you never had.

    They say to forget you; find a new lad.

    The very thought broke what’s left of my heart.

    I dare them to tell me why I’m not sad.

    Alone in a room with stark walls and pads

    because my love-addled mind came apart.

    They say you can’t miss what you never had.

    I dare them to tell me why I’m not sad.

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  • Phoebe’s Feet

    Phoebe’s Feet

    August 17, 2021

    It’s that time again, boys & girls: Fandango’s Story Starter! This week, our first line is As soon as she stepped into the room she realized that…

    As soon as she walked into the room, she realized it. Every pair of eyes shifted their focus from what they had been looking at to Phoebe’s feet.

    Her shoes didn’t match. Not even close.

    One was a brand-new black patent leather pump, while the other was an old, scuffed red pump.

    Not again! Phoebe felt her face growing hot and her mouth felt as if it were filled with sand.

    No good ever came from getting dressed in the dark, but Phoebe did it anyway—her small contribution to energy conservation.

    She tried to think quickly: What would J.Lo do? (assuming such a ridiculous thing could happen to someone like her.)

    Suddenly, it came to her. Phoebe simply slipped her shoes off and set them in a corner out of the way.

    To her amazement, the toes on her left foot were a perfectly lacquered shade of lavender. The toenails on her right foot were naked and in their usual crusty-looking state. Phoebe’s guess was that she must’ve gotten distracted by something (no telling what) and forgotten to finish.

    At this point, she was beyond mortified and saw no way out of the embarrassment. No matter what she did would be viewed as funny, stupid, or wrong.

    So, she smiled what she hoped was a relaxed smile, as if everything was going as planned, and padded barefoot to the open bar.

    “What can I get you, Miss?” the hunky bartender asked, trying to keep a straight face. “Aside from a matching pair of shoes and some nail polish remover?”

    Phoebe couldn’t help but smile. “At least my dress isn’t on backward, right?” she joked.

    The bartender cocked an eyebrow and cleared his throat. “Well….”

    Phoebe looked down to discover the tag was sticking out from what was supposed to be the vee in the back of her dress.

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  • Directions

    Directions

    August 11, 2021
    SusanWritesPrecise
    Photo Courtesy of Journal d’une Plume.

    It’s time once again for Cyranny’s One Minute Fiction Challenge. The visual prompt is the image above.

    Okay, so Frank told me to take a long walk off of a short pier. Sounds simple enough. Check!

    Then what? He didn’t say.

    Am I supposed to keep walking? What about when the water gets too deep? I suppose I’m supposed to swim, but how far?

    It’s aggravating as hell when people don’t provide explicit directions when they ask you to do something.

    I mean, do I look like a mind reader?

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  • Fibbing Friday|7/23/2021

    Fibbing Friday|7/23/2021

    July 23, 2021
    worldsoccertalk.com

    It’s time once again for Fibbing Friday! Frank of PCGuyIV fame is our host today and the questions are below.

    1. According to the old TV commercial, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

    The owl always said it was three, but I think it’s subjective. IMO, it depends on the size and agility of your tongue and your sucking power.

    1. What did George the Grocer, a.k.a. Mr. Whipple ask us not to squeeze in his store?

    The Tootsie Roll Pops.

    1. What song begins with the lyrics, “Livin’ on spongecake…”?

    “All About that Bass.”

    1. According to the song, “Do You Know the Way to San Jose”, L.A. is a great big what?

    Cluster***k.

    1. What does Tony the Tiger say about Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes?

    They’re Grape!

    1. Aside from caramel-covered popcorn and peanuts, what can be found inside a box of Cracker Jacks?

    Belly button lint & toe jam.

    1. What does Lucky the Leprechaun say that kids are always after?

    His little green booty.

    1. What toy was touted by its jingle as being “fun for a girl and a boy”?

    Tide pods.

    1. According to its marketing, what product just “keeps going and going and going…”?

    Deluxe Depends.

    1. Who was known as, “The Man of a Thousand Voices”?

    Jim Nabors, aka Gomer Pyle.

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  • The Night of the Red Licorice

    The Night of the Red Licorice

    July 20, 2021
    licorice.com

    It is time once again for Fandango’s Story Starter. This week our mission is to incorporate this story starter teaser, I’d imagined this moment so many times, but I never expected… into a piece of prose or poetry.

    A new world was opening up for me. I was so expectant and excited I could hardly stand it. That Friday evening, I’d been invited (by a boy!) to the 9th-grade Sock Hop in the school gym. There was going to be a band and refreshments, everything you could imagine. And it was also my very first date!

    When Friday night finally rolled around, my dad dropped me off at the school and I met my date, KW, at the drinking fountain. Looking back, it was a pretty awkward evening, especially the slow-dancing part. Neither of us knew how to dance so we stepped and tripped all over each other.

    What sticks in my mind after all these years was The Kiss. I’d imagined this moment so many times, but I never expected to end up with a few soggy remnants of chewed-up red licorice in my mouth afterward.

    The take-away: Always make sure you chew and swallow all of your food before going in for the uber-sloppy kiss.

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