It’s the Saturday Mix – Lucky Dip at MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie. Today we are tasked with creating a Trois-par-Huit.

Trois-par-Huit (Three-by-Eight or Octa-Tri for short), a poem containing three stanzas of 3, 3 and 2 lines OR 3, 2 and 3 lines: 8 lines total with a syllable count of 3, 6, 9, 12, 12, 9, 6, 3. The rhyming pattern is AAB BBC CC where the last line is the title of the poem and summarizes the meaning of the poem. *Note: These poems are to appear center aligned.


 

You and me

Some say it’s meant to be

Flames to a moth: A Phoenix rising from ashes

There’s been too many near misses, burns and crashes

Hot tears cling to our eyelashes

It’s time we ceased to be

You and me.

Susan Marie Shuman/ Susan Writes Precise
http://piscesdragonphoenix.blogspot.com/

9 responses to “Trois-par-Huit”

  1. mhmp77 Avatar
    mhmp77

    kaykuala

    There’s been too many near misses, burns and crashes
    Hot tears cling to our eyelashes

    Great shot Susan. Smoothly rendered Unlucky relationship it was!

    Hank

    1. The Abject Muse Avatar

      Thank you mhmp77. Much appreciated!

  2. weejars Avatar

    Such a great use of the structure to completely flip the meaning. Well done!

    1. The Abject Muse Avatar

      Thank you so much, weejars! Thank you for stopping by.

  3. Reena Saxena Avatar

    Intense and beautiful! I like the first and last line being the same, while the meaning has changed.

    1. The Abject Muse Avatar

      Thank you, Reena!

  4. Vivian Zems Avatar

    I really like the force in this. The violence in the ‘burns’, ‘crashes’, ‘flames’ and’ hot tears ‘- tells us that this is relationship isn’t meant to be.

    1. The Abject Muse Avatar

      Great! I got it right. That’s what I was trying to convey. Thanks so much Vivian.

      1. Vivian Zems Avatar

        My pleasure 😇

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