The Mermaid’s Song

It’s Poetics Tuesday over at the dVerse Poets Pub. This time our host is Laura Bloomsbury who has tasked us with this:

Write your poem as a rhyming tercet of 3 line stanzas though a composite 9 liner or more would do just as well
– Strict meter is not a requirement but for an extra challenge try pentameter (10 syllables to each line)
– You do NOT have to follow the ordered sequence of the above
– You may reverse the order of the 1st & 3rd words but otherwise keep the integrity of each rhyme
 set

 

  • SPEECH/REST/BEACH
  • ON/SEA/UPON
  • WORD/BREATH/BIRD
  • WAY/SOUND/BAY
  • SUNG/LIPS/TONGUE

After the mermaid’s sweet song was sung

with a pretty pout upon her lips

she tickled his tonsils with her tongue.

 

Shocked and aghast; at a loss for speech

the sailor gasped “Let’s give it a rest!”

They watched as the sun set on the beach —

 

twilight turned to dark. Without a word

she slid away; and he held his breath

she slipped into the sea. An odd bird

 

indeed, he thought, as the night drew on.

But his sad gaze was fixed on the sea

She’d left him with much to muse upon.

27 responses to “The Mermaid’s Song”

  1. Glenn A. Buttkus Avatar
    Glenn A. Buttkus

    Those damned Silkies are like that. Then again, perhaps her leaving him was an act of charity, for surely his gills didn’t work well enough to follow her.

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  2. I agree with Glenn that her leaving him was an act of charity. He was still alive ;) Those near death experiences can certainly be haunting…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I like your description of that evening meeting with the mermaid and all the alliteration in this line: “she tickled his tonsils with her tongue.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Frank!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You took an undine and gave her life in this poem much to the sailor’s surprise – great use of the rhyme sets – thank for joining the prompt

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Laura. I appreciate your comments!

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  5. A tale of missed opportunity! Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much. :-)

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Well done! This one made me smile! I can’t imagine a sailor telling her to slow down!! LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I’m sure he is still kicking himself. :-)

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I guess you could say the scales were not tipped in his favor! :>)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The mystical has its own aura, and also fear.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Vandana Avatar
    Vandana

    A story that gives shivers, but still he is wainting upon!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Vandana

      Like

  10. Ah, you can’t trust a mermaid to stay, or to keep you safe. i wonder if he’ll ever quite recover from that encounter.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I doubt it. I certainly wouldn’t! Thanks for reading & commenting, Sarah!

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  11. Garlick’s words do lead us into the realm of mermaids and other sea creatures, and I enjoyed your poem, Susan. I’ve just finished reading a book set in Victorian London called Things in Jars, about a beautiful mermaid with sharp teeth and, apparently, murderous tendencies. I love the contrast between the sweet song and pretty pout and the ominously alliterative ‘she tickled his tonsils with her tongue’. I’m not surprised the sailor was left with ‘much to muse upon’.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Kim. I’ve heard of “Things in Jars.” Going to have to read it now!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s good!

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  12. Beverly Crawford Avatar
    Beverly Crawford

    Oh she tickled his tonsils with her tongue
    and they collaborated on a song of the sea
    For some reason that tickled tonsil phrase makes me want to write a poem about it! I was totally entertained!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad to hear, Beverly! :-)

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  13. I wonder if anything is ever normal again after having met with a mermaid.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I don’t see how it could be. To me it would be a life-changing event that no one would believe.

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  14. Wow this is good. I can barely understand the instructions. Maybe someday I will be brave enough to try.

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