Ergo, the Ogre

A large, sprawling oak tree with thick branches covered in green moss, surrounded by lush greenery in a natural setting.

It’s Poetics Tuesday over at the dVerse Poets Pub. This time our host is Laura Bloomsbury who has tasked us with this:

Write your poem as a rhyming tercet of 3 line stanzas though a composite 9 liner or more would do just as well
– Strict meter is not a requirement but for an extra challenge try pentameter (10 syllables to each line)
– You do NOT have to follow the ordered sequence of the above
– You may reverse the order of the 1st & 3rd words but otherwise keep the integrity of each rhyme set

 

  • SPEECH/REST/BEACH
  • ON/SEA/UPON
  • WORD/BREATH/BIRD
  • WAY/SOUND/BAY
  • SUNG/LIPS/TONGUE

After the mermaid’s sweet song was sung

with a pretty pout upon her lips

she tickled his tonsils with her tongue.

 

Shocked and aghast; at a loss for speech

the sailor gasped “Let’s give it a rest!”

They watched as the sun set on the beach —

 

twilight turned to dark. Without a word

she slid away; and he held his breath

she slipped into the sea. An odd bird

 

indeed, he thought, as the night drew on.

But his sad gaze was fixed on the sea

She’d left him with much to muse upon.

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Ergo, the Ogre

Susan Marie Shuman is an author and freelance writer/editor who currently resides in the wilds of Birmingham, AL. She shares her life with two spoiled cats, several friends (not all of them imaginary) and one husband. When she’s not working, Susan enjoys horseback riding, reading, taking her cats for a spin in their pet stroller, and taking naps. An ex-bartender, recovering crash test dummy, and all-around late bloomer, Susan graduated from the University of South Alabama in 2004 with a BA in English. She minored in Russian. Long-range goals include visiting Israel, the Czech Republic and Liechtenstein. Susan is also planning to launch a micronation which would be called either Suzannistan or Eastern Suzanorovia.

27 responses to “The Mermaid’s Song”

  1. tedstrutz Avatar
    tedstrutz

    Wow this is good. I can barely understand the instructions. Maybe someday I will be brave enough to try.

    Reply
  2. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    I wonder if anything is ever normal again after having met with a mermaid.

    Reply
    1. The Abject Muse Avatar
      The Abject Muse

      I don’t see how it could be. To me it would be a life-changing event that no one would believe.

      Reply
  3. Linda Lee Lyberg Avatar
    Linda Lee Lyberg

    I love this!

    Reply
    1. The Abject Muse Avatar
      The Abject Muse

      Thank you! :-)

      Reply
  4. Beverly Crawford Avatar
    Beverly Crawford

    Oh she tickled his tonsils with her tongue
    and they collaborated on a song of the sea
    For some reason that tickled tonsil phrase makes me want to write a poem about it! I was totally entertained!

    Reply
    1. The Abject Muse Avatar
      The Abject Muse

      Glad to hear, Beverly! :-)

      Reply
  5. kim881 Avatar
    kim881

    Garlick’s words do lead us into the realm of mermaids and other sea creatures, and I enjoyed your poem, Susan. I’ve just finished reading a book set in Victorian London called Things in Jars, about a beautiful mermaid with sharp teeth and, apparently, murderous tendencies. I love the contrast between the sweet song and pretty pout and the ominously alliterative ‘she tickled his tonsils with her tongue’. I’m not surprised the sailor was left with ‘much to muse upon’.

    Reply
    1. The Abject Muse Avatar
      The Abject Muse

      Thank you, Kim. I’ve heard of “Things in Jars.” Going to have to read it now!

      Reply
      1. kim881 Avatar
        kim881

        It’s good!

  6. sarahsouthwest Avatar
    sarahsouthwest

    Ah, you can’t trust a mermaid to stay, or to keep you safe. i wonder if he’ll ever quite recover from that encounter.

    Reply
    1. The Abject Muse Avatar
      The Abject Muse

      I doubt it. I certainly wouldn’t! Thanks for reading & commenting, Sarah!

      Reply
  7. Vandana Avatar
    Vandana

    A story that gives shivers, but still he is wainting upon!

    Reply
    1. The Abject Muse Avatar
      The Abject Muse

      Thank you, Vandana

      Reply
  8. Reena Saxena Avatar
    Reena Saxena

    The mystical has its own aura, and also fear.

    Reply
  9. rothpoetry Avatar
    rothpoetry

    I guess you could say the scales were not tipped in his favor! :>)

    Reply
    1. The Abject Muse Avatar
      The Abject Muse

      LOL!

      Reply
  10. rothpoetry Avatar
    rothpoetry

    Well done! This one made me smile! I can’t imagine a sailor telling her to slow down!! LOL

    Reply
    1. The Abject Muse Avatar
      The Abject Muse

      Thank you. I’m sure he is still kicking himself. :-)

      Reply
  11. rivrvlogr Avatar
    rivrvlogr

    A tale of missed opportunity! Well done.

    Reply
    1. The Abject Muse Avatar
      The Abject Muse

      Thanks so much. :-)

      Reply
  12. Laura Bloomsbury Avatar
    Laura Bloomsbury

    You took an undine and gave her life in this poem much to the sailor’s surprise – great use of the rhyme sets – thank for joining the prompt

    Reply
    1. The Abject Muse Avatar
      The Abject Muse

      Thanks so much, Laura. I appreciate your comments!

      Reply
  13. Frank Hubeny Avatar
    Frank Hubeny

    I like your description of that evening meeting with the mermaid and all the alliteration in this line: “she tickled his tonsils with her tongue.”

    Reply
    1. The Abject Muse Avatar
      The Abject Muse

      Thank you, Frank!

      Reply
  14. msjadeli Avatar
    msjadeli

    I agree with Glenn that her leaving him was an act of charity. He was still alive ;) Those near death experiences can certainly be haunting…

    Reply
  15. Glenn A. Buttkus Avatar
    Glenn A. Buttkus

    Those damned Silkies are like that. Then again, perhaps her leaving him was an act of charity, for surely his gills didn’t work well enough to follow her.

    Reply

Whatcha think?