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Woe is me, and what am I to do?
You see, I don’t fit anywhere. The leprechauns don’t want me because of me half-dwarf-ness. Likewise, the dwarves won’t claim me due to the kelly-green leprechaun blood ramblin’ through me veins. It’s not fair, I’m tellin’ ya!
Is it me own fault me pappy couldn’t keep it zipped? An’ the word “no’ wasn’t in me mum’s vocabulary? So, here I am — the precious product of their night of crazed lust. What were they thinkin’?
Oh, I thought o’ joinin’ the circus, but there isn’t one around here. I tried the carnivals but was told I wasn’t weird enough to draw a crowd. Now that hurt me feelins’! Imagine?
Yep, this knick-knack gig is the only position I could find. Talk about boring. Plus, the only benefit is that I have a place to sit.
So, me thinks it’s time to end it all. I’ll just “fall” off this balcony railing into the kiddy pool, an’ be done with it.
Only one problem: the pool is empty. I’d end up crackin’ me head open, or worse.
‘Spose I’ll just sit here a bit longer an’ think.
Ergo, the Ogre 
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