IX The Hermit | An Asshole

Herman was a difficult child and now he is a lonely, angry adult.

He never learned how to play nicely with others. To Herman, winning and demolishing other kids’ toys was the ultimate only goal. Even playing with clay trucks in the sand turned ugly when Herman would smash his playmates’ trucks with a rock, or sometimes his bare hands.

Today he would probably be diagnosed with ADHD or maybe even Autism, but at that time, no one had ever heard of such disorders. They just wrote him off as a general asshole.

It follows then that Herman had no friends. He didn’t care though because he hated everyone.

He was a nice-looking guy, though, and could’ve been quite popular with the girls in high school. Unfortunately, he acted like a jerk: throwing stones at girls, slipping spiders, creepy bugs and small snakes down the backs of their blouses, and making loud and sometimes stinky body noises. The boys didn’t fare much better. Herman would beat them to a pulp if they tried to interfere. Even the instructors were afraid of him.

Somehow, Herman graduated from high school. Word on the street was that the teachers passed him because they were afraid not to.

One day, his parents and brother staged an intervention of sorts. It was more like a banishment. Herman simply wasn’t fit to live in polite society. He happened to like the water, so he was sent to live out his days at the bottom of the Aegean Sea. To make a lifetime of punishment a bit more palatable, his father changed his name to Poseidon and told him he was King of the Sea.

Herman was thrilled! He imagined all the mermaids and mermen bowing down to him. All sea life would have the utmost respect for him. But this was not to be. Nobody was the least bit intimidated by him. Most didn’t even notice him as they all had busy lives, places to be.

Herman felt like a fish out of water.

And so, he pouted.