Ergo, the Ogre

Uncle Jasper was a curious one. He wasn’t the kind of uncle who celebrated holidays with his family, nor was he the uncle that made you want to crawl onto his lap and expect him to tell you a story. But if you had a question about anything to do with science, logic, physics and such, he was the one to ask. Conversely, if you needed relationship advice or struggling with unrequited love, forget it. Uncle Jasper would look at you as if you were speaking Swahili. He would not (or could not) discuss matters of the heart. Go to the Empress for that. You’ll see why.

He wasn’t always like this. According to the elders he was quite the ladies’ man. And toga parties! If there was a toga party, Uncle Jasper was there. He was either throwing them or attending them. Uncle Jasper had a million friends who loved being around him. At one time he was a handsome and outgoing young man who fun to be around. No one knows for sure what went wrong in his life to turn Uncle Jasper into a loner obsessed with time. Some say it was a woman named Astrid who broke his heart when she eloped with Uncle Jasper’s best friend, Arnold. Others say he consumed way too much of a psychedelic drink called kykeon, which is the equivalent of the modern LSD. Perhaps it was a bit of both.

Either way, Uncle Jasper was never the same. Now, he sits all day contemplating his hourglass, turning it upside down, then right side up, in silence. Who knows what he’s thinking about or why‽

He never married or even dated anyone after the Astrid & Arnold fiasco, nor did he make any new friends after he ditched the old ones. His brother, Jerry, tried to drag him out of his funk a few times. He would fix him up with attractive women or take him to the toga parties he once loved but Jasper would have none of it.

Eventually, he moved to a far-flung island in the Cyclades called Folegrados in the medieval town of Hora. It’s a three-day camel ride to get there and once you arrive in Hora, you have to hike on a zig-zag path to get to the Church of the Panagia. Uncle Jasper resides in the basement. But don’t bother going. Uncle Jasper doesn’t like company and barely tolerates visits from the family.

In a chestnut shell, Uncle Jasper was no longer interested in the things that once made life interesting.

Family members sent cards and letters to him occasionally, but they always came back marked Return to Sender. However, a couple of the aunts had the feeling that his mail had been opened and read before being sent back. Eventually, they gave up when the postage rates became wildly expensive.

Let’s just hope that hourglass never breaks.