Ergo, the Ogre

Larry was one of those people who couldn’t keep track of his stuff. The other farmers made fun of him for always losing things and nicknamed him Loser Larry. The poor guy wasted so much time looking for lost things that his farm was suffering.

On this particular day, he’d lost a sandal. He was looking right at it and missed it because he was preoccupied with the toaster he’d misplaced that still hadn’t turned up. One of the farmers had asked him how in the heck he lost a toaster. All Larry could say was that it was there when he took the toast out of it and then he never saw it again.

I sure miss having my toast in the mornings …

And now it was a sandal. He couldn’t work with only one sandal and couldn’t afford to buy a new pair. So, he had to find this lone sandal in order to keep the farm going. He wished he had someone to help him with the farm, with his whole life, actually. He’d had a wife at one time, Leona, but he’d lost her too. The last time he recalled seeing her was planting season last year. One day, she was just gone.

Where the heck did I put her?

It never occurred to him that perhaps Leona left of her own accord. It made no sense. Why would she leave me? No, clearly, I misplaced her.

Now that he thought of it, she and the toaster went missing about the same time. He must’ve lost both of them together. But how?

None of this made any sense! Normal people didn’t lose toasters, wives, and sandals. What’s wrong with me?

As an aside, In the distant future Larry and others like him would be diagnosed with ADHD, but back then, doctors simply wrote him off as absent-minded.

He had to get harvest the crops before they rotted — which could be any day now. He was torn between going back to work the farm and continuing the sandal search. He knew he couldn’t harvest his crops without his sandal, but the crops should’ve been harvested yesterday. What a conundrum!

He continued his search for a couple more hours to no avail. He was getting hungry now and decided to go home and eat and then come back and look some more. He’d packed a lunch but forgot to take it with him. He’s pretty sure he’d left it sitting on his kitchen table, maybe…

Once he got back home, he found what was left of his lunch on the floor. It seems the cat had gotten into it. Well, at least I didn’t lose it.

He opened the freezer to see if there was anything to eat in there. Lo and behold! There was his toaster! It had been in there for a while judging by the amount of frost on it. He wondered if it still worked and plugged it in. Nothing. But then all of a sudden it began sputtering, sparks flew, and the toaster began to emit smoke. And then nothing. It was dead. But at least I found it! Next time though, I’ll know to knock the frost off the plug first.

Then it dawned on him: If he found the toaster, his wife must be around here too!

Leona? Leona! He looked under the bed, in the closest, the cellar, then the attic. Next, he’d check the silo.

The sandal was forgotten.