Ergo, the Ogre

Welcome to the daily Three Things Challenge.
Use your imagination and creativity using one, two or all three words that may or may not be related. There are no restrictions regarding length, style, or genre, though please keep it family friendly.

Tag your responses with 3TC, #threethingschallenge or TTC, and you can add Di’s logo if you wish.

Looking forward to reading your responses.

Your three words today are:
WITTY
WILLFUL
WONDROUS

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Leonard was the wittiest person he knew. He loved to sit around and tell himself jokes. Sometimes he’d laugh so hard he couldn’t breathe. In fact, he found himself so hilarious that he began to actively look for work as a stand-up comedian. There was a new comedy club in the area called the LOL Lounge looking for stand-up comedians and improv troupes, and Leonard just knew he was the joker for the job.

He practiced his newest material and went down to the LOL to apply. There was a line going out the door. Leonard was surprised there were so many comedians around. It looked as if he faced some tough competition. But Leonard wasn’t too worried — he was the funniest guy he knew. Plus, when he filled out the application he willfully lied and said he’d worked at some of the big-name clubs in New York City.

Leonard was confident that even if they checked his fake references, once he auditioned, they couldn’t help but hire him. He was so sure of this that he quit his job as a tire buster at the Gung-Ho Garage.

After waiting three hours in line, it was finally Leonard ‘the Laugh Riot’ Lewis’ turn. He trotted up to the stage just like some game show hosts do and promptly tripped on the stairs. He laughed it off as if tripping was part of his act, but it was obvious that this was not the case.

After he introduced himself, Leonard led with this joke:

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

The judges glanced at one another with raised eyebrows. One of them wrote something on his clipboard. So, he tried one of his favorites that never failed to crack his mom up.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.

One of the judges yawned. The other two were playing with their cell phones.

Tough crowd. Time to pull out the big guns!

Leonard had one more chance to be hysterical. He had to make good. So, he ad-libbed it in hopes that something really funny would come out of his mouth.

“Okay, so there’s these two guys taking a bath together. One of them drops the soap and somehow it ended up close to the other guy. The first guy says, “Hey, you mind passing me the soap?” The second guy says, “What do you think I am? A radio?”

The judges looked at him as if they were waiting for the end of the joke. Leonard didn’t know what to do. He blew the joke, even he didn’t get it. He didn’t even know what he meant to say.

A radio? What the hell was I thinking?

Then to Leonard’s surprise, shock, and awe, the judges started laughing. Hard. They laughed as though it was the funniest joke ever told.

“Wondrous! Absolutely wondrous!” One of the judges stood up and clapped. The other two were still doubled over in their seats, laughing.

At what, though?

A standing ovation! Leonard couldn’t believe it. Well, yes, he could; because he knew he was hilarious and had real talent.

He just wished he’d gotten his own joke.