Ergo, the Ogre

It was Eddie’s dream to follow in his brother’s footsteps and join the Delta Iota Mu fraternity at Greek U. He had no idea that the hazing part would be so … intense. His brother certainly never mentioned going through such things. Perhaps it was a secret that no one was allowed to share. Eddie later learned that there was an Oath of Silence.

Being hosed down by sprinklers, covered in dirt and fecal matter, and getting urinated on was bad, but manageable. But this! This bordered on torture. The guys had made him drink countless ouzo shots until he passed out. Then they carried Eddie to his dorm room and tied him into bed. They used 100 ropes and tied one hundred knots in each of them. Eddie had 36 hours to free himself. If he failed, he would not be a member of the DIM Fraternity. Fortunately, this was the final portion of the hazing.

But still, Eddie was at a loss. He could not figure out how to untie himself. There’s no way he could do it by himself, it was obvious.

Suddenly, the door burst open and in came the Hundred Handed Giant, Alphonse, who quickly began untying Eddie.

“Alphonse! Dude!” Eddie exclaimed. “H-H-How did you know I was here?”

The Giant simply grinned and shrugged.

“But someone had to tell you.”

“It is secret,” Alphonse put his finger up to his lips.

“I cannot thank you enough,” Eddie gushed. “I was really getting scared! I mean, what if I had to go to the bathroom?”

Alphonse grunted and plugged his nose. He grinned at Eddie.

Alphonse didn’t seem to be much of a conversationalist, so Eddie decided it was best to keep quiet and let Alphonse untie the knots.

Soon, the knots were undone, and Eddie was free. Alphonse turned to leave, and Eddie stopped him.

“Alphonse! Wait!” Eddie sat up and stretched his arms and legs. “What can I do for you? How can I ever repay your kindness?”

“No worries. I’m good.” He quietly closed the door behind him.

Eddie took a shower, put on some clean clothes, and headed to The Winged Water Frog — a tavern where the frat guys hang out.

He slowly sauntered in the tavern, greeting people he knew. To look at him, you’d never know anything out of the ordinary had happened to Eddie lately.

He found his frat brothers and sat down at the bar with them. He ordered an Alfa beer.

“Whoa, Eddie!” Biff said with an amazed, yet stupid look on his face. “How’d you get untied so fast?”

“Nothin’ to it.” Eddie lied and took a swig of Alfa.

Ace came up to Eddie, patted him roughly on the back. “Well, guess you’re one of us now.” Ace shook his hand.

“Guess so,” Eddie grinned. “So, what happens next?”

“Not much, really.” Ace shrugged.

“Seriously?” Eddie was beyond disappointed.

“Well, unless you count the co-ed Toga Party tomorrow night.”

“”Let me check my calendar,” Eddie joked.