Ergo, the Ogre

Welcome to the daily Three Things Challenge.
Use your imagination and creativity using one, two or all three words that may or may not be related. There are no restrictions regarding length, style, or genre, though please keep it family friendly.

Tag your responses with 3TC, #threethingschallenge or TTC, and you can add Di’s logo if you wish.

Our three words today are:
MUDDY
MASH
METER

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James had been fishing for over an hour without even a nibble. He began to wonder if it wasn’t an old wives’ tale that fish tend to bite more after a storm.

And that was one hell of a storm! James was nearly knee-deep in mud that looked like blackish-grey mashed potatoes. But the air was wild with petrichor, so clean and fresh smelling. All that was missing was the rainbow to make the scene complete.

Suddenly James’ bobber was bouncing up and down like ping-pong ball. There must be a monster fish attached to it!

James began to reel him in when for some reason the fish stopped fighting. Now it felt like dead weight on the other end; probably just a log or somebody’s underwear.

That’s another thing James wondered about as he reeled in the catch of the day. At least three or four times a year James caught a pair of tighty-whities. Who keeps losing their shorts? Why?

Whatever was on the end of his line was coming into view. It looked like a mannequin, too big to be a doll. It wasn’t heavy enough to be a corpse.

Once the catch was safely ashore James went down to investigate. Smothered with algae, mud and various water plants, was a crash test dummy. The left side of its face was bashed in, as if someone kicked it. It could’ve just hit a rock, though. Upon closer inspection, James found that the dummy was still wearing its underwear.

If a crash test dummy could manage it, what was wrong with the rest of us?